


Behind Enemy Lines : Rick's story

by NaganSavior



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Rick Grimes, Smut, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 36,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24664420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaganSavior/pseuds/NaganSavior
Summary: After all of Rick's attempts to persuade Negan to let Daryl free fail, he decides to offer him something that he won't be able to deny. Himself.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Negan, Rick Grimes/Negan
Comments: 126
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

Rick was pacing back and forth in his kitchen without knowing what to do. 

Everyone had been mad at him to say the least. Since Negan had decided to take Daryl as his prisoner, everyone was acting like he was to blame. His actions may have led them to Negan and the Saviors, but he never wished his best friend to be ripped away from them. Everytime that Negan had been to Alexandria, he had been trying all sort of humiliating methods to try to persuade him to let Daryl go. From pleading to straight up begging him in front of all his men. But he wasn't changing his mind. He knew how much it gutted Rick to see his friend suffer and he didnt care at all. Not only that but everytime he was around he would make sexual innuendos to him and other things like making silly excuses for them to be left alone most of the times he visited Alexandria. 

It was clear to Rick that Negan was interested in him. Which was ridiculous because they were enemies. There could ever be anything else between them. For Negan it wasn't enough that he had them in the palm of his hand and they couldn't do anything against the Saviors, he wanted to control them as well especially him and Daryl apparently. Daryl had already suffered enough though, Rick didn't think he would last a lot longer there. How could he get Negan to let him go though? Suddenly an idea popped in his mind. Since Negan obviously had a thing for him, he could use that to his advantage. He would tell Negan to take him instead in exchange for Daryl's freedom. Rick knew what pain that would cause to his kids but it was the only solution. Everyone in Alexandria would take care of them though and Daryl would be here to protect them, they would be fine. Plus he hopped that this wouldn't be forever. "The castles fall from within" was an old saying. That could be the end of their sufferings. 

Having set up his mind he went upstairs to Judith's room. She was babbling in her crib and she gave him a smile when she saw him entering the room. 

"Judy" Rick said feeling emotional. He would miss her so much. He took her in his arms and gave her a tight hug. A tear fell from his eyes and rolled down his cheek. He hated that he had to do that. 

"Dad?" He heard from behind him as Carl entered the room. Rick let Judith back to her crib and whipped the tear fast. He didn't want to cause Carl suspicions because he knew that he would try to stop him.

"Hey Carl" he said with a smile as he turned to look at him. 

"Everything ok?" asked Carl as he saw him looking sad despite the smile. 

"Yeah I'm fine. Look I'll be gone for some hours. I want to check out a store I saw on the map and it may have things we can use. Will you look after your sister?"

"Yes, of course dad" answered Carl with a nod "be safe"

Rick gave him a tight hug. He could only imagine how he would feel when he found out where he really went but this was the only way. He hopped that after the initial shock, Carl would be able to understand. 

"Love you a lot Carl" Rick said roughly as he felt his eyes stinging. 

"Love you too dad" Carl told his as he hugged him as well. 

"I will see you in a few hours" said Rick as he let him go. 

Carl gave him a nod as he walked towards Judith's crib to play with her. Rick gave them one last glance and walked out of the room because he knew that if he stayed any longer he would regret it. 

He grabbed his car's keys and got in. At the thought of Negan's smirks, he felt sick to his stomach but he was optimistic he could get through all those things that were waiting him. 

He hopped that the next time he would see Alexandria they would be free from Negan and the Saviors. 

The road to the Sanctuary was mostly empty except from an occasional Walker. The fresh air did him good and it made him feel more optimistic about his plan. He decided to park five minutes walk from the Sanctuary to avoid getting shot. It was better to walk there. Rick sighed as he left the security of his car. 

His heart was beating fast as he approached the Sanctuary's gates. Suddenly five guns were pointed at him. 

"Drop your weapon" ordered one guard "and get on your knees"

Rick sighed feeling annoyance overtaking him, but he did as he was told. He threw his trusted python by his side and dropped to his knees. The gates opened and soon he was surrounded by Saviors who took his gun and continued having him on gun point. Suddenly he heard whistling and saw Negan walking towards them while swinging Lucille. He looked down at him and he gave him a big grin. 

"Guys, is that any way to treat our guests?" he complained ,but Rick knew it was just an act. 

The Saviors lowered their weapons and Rick got up undusting his jeans. 

"What the hell can I do for you Rick?" Negan questioned still smirking at him "you coming all this way to my humble home means you want something, so shoot"

Rick looked him in the eyes. 

"I'm here to make you a deal, to let Daryl go" he said ,determined to persuade him this time. 

"A deal means I get something in return Ricky. If you think I'm gonna sit here all day and listen to your..-"

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering yet" said Rick annoyed. 

"Enlighten me then" answered Negan as he looked him up and down. 

Rick swallowed hard and he felt his hands sweating. 

"I want you to let Daryl go and take me in his place" he admitted at last as he saw Negan's face going from shocked to delighted in a matter of seconds. 

He knew what his answer would be without even saying it yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Negan chuckled as he smirked at him. 

"Are you joking?" he questioned although Rick was sure he was only asking to mess with him even more.

Rick frowned at him and looked unamused. 

"Yeah, I brought myself all the way here, to make a joke" he drawled. "Now, do we have a deal or not?"

Negan looked him in the eyes and he laughed. 

"Sure Ricky. To be honest, I got tired of Daryl. He is no fun, you on the other hand... " he said suggestively. 

Rick sighed deeply, who knew what Negan would do to him. 

"Let's go get your boy and get you settled to your new home" he grinned as he took him by the arm forcing him forward. 

"Sir what about his weapon?" questioned one guard. Negan looked at the Python with interest. 

"Give it to me" he ordered "Ricky over here won't be needing a weapon, right Rick?" he asked raising his eyebrows. 

"Right" Rick spat out as what he really wanted was to grab his gun and shoot Negan in the head. 

"Here is that damn stink eye again" told him Negan clearly disappointed "since you offered yourself to me so kindly, I will teach you some manners and respect in return" he said like he would be doing him some big favor. 

Rick rolled his eyes as Negan grabbed him by the arm again. 

Negan unlocked the door to a cell and Daryl got scared of what he may wanted this time. He stood up slowly and he let his eyes adjust to the light. They widened as he saw Rick standing there beside Negan who was looking very pleased. 

"Daryl today is your lucky day" said Negan with a smile "you will be going home"

Rick just looked at him pitifully. 

"What is Rick doing here?" he asked feeling anxiety growing inside him. 

"Glad you asked. You see Rick is gonna take your place as my prisoner in exchange for your release" Negan told him as he looked at Rick who was averting his eyes. 

"Forget it" said Daryl as his frown deepened "I'm not going anywhere"

"This isn't up for debate" Rick said as he looked him right square in the eyes. 

Negan noticed the tension between them and chuckled. 

"Damn! This is fun" he told them clearly amused by their discomfort "Rick is right though. This is not up for discussion. You are leaving and he is staying"

Daryl went to attack him but Negan hit him in the head with the back of Rick's gun ,knocking him out. 

"Daryl!" yelled Rick as he caught him before hitting the floor. "Why did you do that you asshole?" he looked up at him with anger. 

"If you don't want me to knock you out as well ,you will come with me, so my guys can take him home" he told him as he loomed over Rick. 

"How do I know you're not gonna kill him?" he demanded. 

"You don't" Negan said with a smirk "you have to trust me. Now stand up"

Rick swallowed dryly and did as he was told. Negan grabbed him by the arm once more leading him away, leaving Daryl knocked out. 

He dragged him to his room which was very big and luxurious. Not that Rick expected something less, with all of the things he had been stealing from them and the other communities. 

Negan let him go as he locked the door behind them. 

"Strip" he ordered. 

"What?!" Rick demanded as his eyes widened. 

"Take off your clothes Rick" said Negan with a cold tone as he sensed his defiance "now".

Rick's cheeks got red from embarrassment but he started to remove his clothes despite not wanting to. 

When he was left only with his blue boxers on, he saw Negan looking at him up and down licking his lips. 

" Wear these" he told him as he gave him a pair almost identical to the sweatshirt and pants that Daryl had been wearing. His instead of an "A", it had a "P" sprayed on the front. 

"The "p" stands for Prick" said Negan as he watched him delighted putting on the sweatshirt. 

He was officially his and Negan was gonna enjoy every second of it.


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you like your new outfit?" Negan questioned as he got close to his face. 

Rick sighed as he looked down at himself. 

"It is just another way for you to subjectivate me" he told him as he looked him in the eyes. 

Negan gave him an annoyed look and put his normal clothes away. He wouldn't be needing them either way. 

"I still haven't decided if I should lock you up" he told him and he saw Rick shrinking back scared. That was good, Negan wanted him to be afraid. To have the fear, that he could kill him if he disobeyed. 

"Do whatever you want" Rick told him eventually as he looked at the floor. 

Negan grabbed his face and forced him to look at him. 

"Hmm so you don't care what I'll do to you?" he questioned. 

"No" answered Rick defiantly as he stepped back to release himself from Negan's grasp. 

"No what?!" demanded Negan as he walked close to him again. 

"No sir" Rick spat angrily. It had only been an hour as Negan's prisoner and he already was making his life a hell. 

Negan chuckled. 

"Aren't you sad that you are not gonna be seeing your son anymore?" Negan wanted to know. Thank God he didn't know about Judith. Rick was sure he was capable of using a toddler against him, to make him submit. 

"Of course I am" answered Rick "if only there wasn't a psycho who wanted prisoners and I could be with my family, sir" as he looked at him angrily. 

"I would have never had found you if you didn't kill my people at that outpost" Negan told him. 

"So that justifies keeping me here?" Rick demanded. 

"You made this deal" Negan told him dismissively "you will live with the consequences now. You are lucky you are not thrown to a cell"

Rick shaked his head. He made this deal because there wasn't another choice. What he really wanted to do was breakdown right here and cry his eyes out. He couldn't even do that though. 

"You and me are gonna have dinner together Rick and then you will be sleeping in my room" said Negan in a tone that beared no arguments. 

Rick didn't want to eat anything right now but he had no other choice. Negan radioed his men to bring them food as Rick walked to the window which had bars as well and looked outside and the pitiful sight that the Sanctuary made. Negan's prisoners were forced to fight the walkers he had chained up to their fence. It was sad really that he wanted to make others suffer, to feel validated. 

His fate wouldn't be much better, who knows what he would be doing to him. 

There was a knock on the door and Negan unlocked the door just to get their food and locked again. 

"Sit down Rick" he told him and Rick did so hesitantly. 

Negan gave him a plate with spaghetti and red sauce. Rick expected to be fed the worst things they had in the whole compound but he was surprised to see actual food and one that smelled very good. 

Rick focused on eating and he tried to ignore the fact that Negan was eating beside him.

He finished eating and he was happy that at least Negan wouldn't force him to go to bed hungry. If he was displeased by him though, that could easily change. 

Negan finished eating as well and he got up. He grabbed a pillow and a blanket and tossed them to the couch. Rick got the memo that they were for him. Negan went to the bathroom and changed into his comfortable pyjamas while Rick would be sleeping in these sweatpants. Rick opened the blanket and tried to get comfortable. It wasn't the best sleeping on a couch but he had slept to worse places. He pulled the blanket higher and turned his back to Negan as he closed his eyes. He highly doubted he would sleep tonight, especially with the clothes he was wearing. 

He heard Negan sighing as he laid down as well and turned off the light. 

That was going to be a big night.


	4. Chapter 4

Rick was tossing and turning on the couch. In his dream he was losing blood. A lot of blood. From a wound on his stomach. One helicopter was taking him away as his friends and family were mourning him because they thought he was dead. 

"No!" he tried to say to those who were taking him away "Stop, turn back!" but they were ignoring him and continued flying the helicopter. He was helpless because of this wound and he could just sit and watch them take him away. He sobbed violently as he thought of Carl and Judith, how they would feel. 

"Rick!" someone shaked him by the arm "Wake up!"

He opened his eyes and he realised he had been crying and screaming in reality as well. Apparently he had woken up Negan. Great, another reason to be terribly embarrassed. His captor had seen him having a breakdown over a dream. He expected Negan to toss him in a cell so he couldn't interrupt his sleep again but it never came. 

Instead he felt his forehead with his palm and he was very sweaty. Negan sighed and helped him up. He led him to the bathroom where he told him to wet his face a bit. Rick splashed water to his face and it did help. He looked himself at the mirror and he was a mess. His hair were sticking to his forehead, his eyes looked tired from the crying and there was that dreadful "P" on that sweatshirt. 

Negan came back and saw the terrible situation that Rick was in. He didn't make any comments as he gave him a set of normal pyjamas to wear. He could screw his rules about prisoners right now. Negan, despite what Rick thought of him, wasn't a monster. He was not gonna let him suffer this much and not do something about it. Rick looked at the pyjamas confused that Negan didn't let him in these sweaty clothes. He changed quickly and left the sweatshirt and the pants at the bathroom. He didn't even want to see them. 

He returned to the bedroom where he saw Negan waiting for him. 

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked Rick who was still a mess. 

"No" answered Rick "not really"

Negan sighed but he let him be. He told him to lay on the bed and he went to the couch. Rick was supposed to be his prisoner but he needed sleep more than him right now. He laid down and covered himself with the blanket. Rick had no idea why Negan would let him sleep to his bed or why he had given him pyjamas. He decided not to question it and he fell asleep in seconds now that he was comfortable and in a warm bed. 

\---

Rick woke up to soft light coming from the window. For one second he thought he was at his own house in Alexandria but the bars in the window reminded him where he actually was and what happened last night. He was also surprised that Negan didn't wake him up yelling and instead he let him sleep. Instead he was sitting quietly by the dinner table checking out some papers. Rick was afraid that this peacefulness wouldn't last long. As soon as Negan would see that he woke up, he would be "the prisoner" again that needed to be put in his place. 

Negan saw him getting up and looked him up and down. 

"Good morning" he told him eventually. 

"morning..." answered Rick hesitantly. He expected the shouting to start at any moment now. He was still feeling unwell. That dream had terrified him. Maybe it was the fact that he already was removed from his family. It felt like when he had been searching for them, all over again. At least now he knew there where many people who would do everything in their powers to protect them. He really wanted to cry again. Negan had made him a mess already. 

"I have to go out" Negan said as he stood up "Eat breakfast" as he showed him several things by another table. 

Rick gave him a nod and looked at the floor again. Negan hesitated like he wanted to say something more but he decided not to. He opened the door and Rick heard it being locked again. 

He sat at the bed and he let himself sob hard. At least he could do that now that Negan was gone for who knows how long. 

\---  
Negan heard cries as soon as he locked the door. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart. All he wanted to do is reopen the door and tell Rick that he was gonna be ok. But he couldn't. He had to continue playing the monster who didn't give a damn about this guy's feelings. That's what Rick thought of him either way. 

He had no idea what he would do with him. It had taken him by surprise when he surrendered to save Daryl. Even if that meant, he would be the one to suffer instead of his friend. If this wasn't loyalty he didn't know what it was. At first he thought it was stupidity, but Rick was far from stupid. Except from handsome, he was brave, fearless and loyal to the people he cared about. Last night he was shouting to not take him away. Maybe he was watching him forcing him to be away from his family. 

He didn't even had something to do as he had told Rick before leaving him alone. His wives were annoyed to see him most of the time and he didn't wish to get stink eyes from them as well. 

He went to his office and found the liquors, he could use a drink or two right now before he had to go back to his room and continued this act. He looked at Lucille and he was feeling disgusted by himself in that moment.


	5. Chapter 5

Rick had managed to calm down after his breakdown. Negan had been missing all day leaving him locked up to his room. He had eaten some fruits and he was sitting at the couch reading a book he had found interesting at Negan's bookcase. Although his mind was at Alexandria. Would his kids have eaten yet? Judith? How would they react to the news that he was Negan's prisoner? He sighed to himself as suddenly he heard the door of the room being unlocked. 

Negan walked in and closed the door without locking it. He almost tripped to the floor's carpet. Rick just starred at him noticing that he was different than usual. 

"Ricky!" he said excitedly "How have you been?" he questioned with a big smile. 

Rick gave him a look as he stood up. 

"Locked up" he frowned as he said unamused. 

"Of course" Negan chuckled as he got closer to Rick. He was smelling and he was apparently drunk. 

"Maybe you should lay down" told him Rick but Negan ignored him and walked closer to his face. 

Rick had never seen Negan like that. He had only seen how he was when he was threatening him or making jokes to his expense. That was much different. Negan went to kiss him in the lips. They had barely kissed when Rick snapped and moved backwards. 

Without thinking about it, he slapped Negan. 

"Ouch!" said Negan in pain "what's wrong with you?"

Rick chuckled humorlessly. 

"You leave me locked up the whole damn day, you come here drunk and try to kiss me, isn't that enough?" said Rick with anger. 

"You know you want it" said Negan smuggly. 

That was too much for Rick. He needed to get out of there. Before Negan could react he made a run for the door. 

"Rick stop!" shouted Negan behind him but he wasn't in a state to chase after him. Rick recalled where he and Negan had walked from yesterday and luckily he met noone to stop him. Dwight was in his car having just returned from a scavenging, Rick saw him and before Dwight could do anything he got him out of the car. The keys were still in the engine. 

"Dwight don't let him go away!" he heard Negan as he turned on the engine. The gates were still open and he speeded as he got out of there. They tried to shoot at him but it was too late. 

"Dammit!" Negan yelled as he was starting to feel sober again. He shouldn't have tried to kiss him. That got him scared and he decided to do this escape. 

"How will you get him back now?" questioned Dwight as he couldn't believe how fast it all had happened. 

Negan sighed as he looked the road where Rick had escaped. 

"Where is your walkie talkie?" he asked as all of his higher ups had walkie talkies so they could communicate with each other. 

"Still in the car" told him Dwight. 

Negan went back to his room and grabbed his own walkie talkie. 

"Rick, I know that you can hear. Come back now" he ordered. 

There were some moments of silence before the walkie talkie cracked to life. 

"Why would I do that?" Rick questioned roughly. 

"Listen to me real close" Negan threatened "if you don't come back I'll go to Alexandria and take Carl"

Rick swallowed hard. He knew he could do that. 

"Please don't hurt my kids" he answered to the walkie talkie. 

Negan was stunned. What did he mean by kids? 

"Kids as in you have more than one?" Negan questioned. 

Rick groaned miserably as he had messed up. 

"No, I meant Carl" he said but Negan had heard him now so it was useless. 

"Well you said "kids" in plural, not just "kid". Either way they are also Grimes. You know that they can come to your place as my prisoners. But there is no guarantee they or someone else in Alexandria , will stay alive.."

Rick didn't want to return to the Sanctuary, but risking his kids wasn't a solution either. Negan had him cornered once more. 

"You have until sun rise to return" told him Negan "don't make me go to Alexandria Rick. Hope you will make the right decision".


	6. Chapter 6

Rick knew that there was only one way to save his kids and that was to swallow his pride and go back to the Sanctuary. He parked the car and just sat there thinking about what he could do. He had a couple hours of freedom left since Negan told him to return until sun rise. 

He just wanted to go back to his family. Was that too much to ask? He didn't understand why Negan wanted him. To humiliate him? To punish him for killing his men? Just to keep him locked up? He sighed as it started raining outside. He was still wearing his pyjamas from last night. At least it wasn't that awful sweatshirt and pants. He recalled Negan trying to kiss him. Rick knew that he had been drunk so that was the explanation but he must have thought of it if he wanted to do it. For him Negan was nothing more than the guy who was keeping him as a prisoner and threatened Alexandria and his kids if he dared to disobey him. 

He could only imagine what Negan would do to him when he got him back. He had slapped him , stole one of their cars and made his escape despite their deal. But he seemed very serious that he would take his kids instead. There was no other way but to return.

Now it was raining more so Rick decided to not postpone the inevitable and get back to the Sanctuary. Since it was in the middle of the night, he had a chance of Negan being in a better mood than in the morning. He started driving back but the rain got heavier and heavier. Soon he couldn't see anything in order to drive. Not only that but he heard a noise coming from the cars engine and it stopped moving. Rick hit the driving wheel frustrated. Why everything should always go so bad for him? He knew that the Sanctuary was straight from where he was now. The rain didn't seem like it would be stopping soon and he had a time limit before Negan did what he threatened to do. Despite not wanting to, he got out of the car in the cold air and rain and started walking. Less than five minutes later he was soaked to the bone. He felt his eyes stinging and it had nothing to do with the rain. Rick just hoped he would make it back in time as he continued to walk to the dark soaked road. \--- Negan had been trying to sleep but he couldn't. Part of him knew that it was his fault that Rick decided to escape but also he was angry that he wasn't back yet despite him telling him to do so. There was no other choice but to go to Alexandria. Maybe that's where Rick went either way. He sighed with anger as he told Dwight to prepare their cars to depart for Alexandria. The sun had come out after a heavy rain during the night. He grabbed Lucille and got out. The cars were out of their gates and they were waiting for him. "Let's go" he told Dwight. If that's how Rick wanted it to be, then so be it. Dwight got to the drivers side and got ready to start the engine when suddenly he saw someone in the far distance. "Negan isn't that...?" he drawled as he saw Rick who was clearly exhausted and was walking towards the Sanctuary. Negan's eyes widened as he saw the state that Rick was in. He was barefoot, the pyjamas he had given him were completely soaked and he could see him trembling. Rick took in the sight in front of him with all the cars and he thought he arrived too late. He approached Negan trying to ignore everyone that had been starring at him. "Please Negan-" he started begging him. He just wished he didn't kill anyone because of him. Negan didn't speak and instead felt his forehead. Rick was burning up after he had apparently spent hours walking in the rain. "Where is the car?" he asked him just to be sure. "It broke down" answered Rick with a sore expression. "Let's take you to the doctor" Negan told him as he took him by the arm more gently than usually.


	7. Chapter 7

"He has a high fever" told him Dr Carson with a sigh. "I can only imagine what he went through to return"

"Will he be ok?" Negan questioned as he frowned. 

Dr Carson looked at Rick that had closed his eyes. Everyone in the Sanctuary knew that Negan had been mad that Rick escaped and stole one of their cars. Carson was afraid that he would put him in a cell. Rick needed to stay warm and comfortable right now. He may have been at Negan's mercy as well but he had given an oath when he got his medical degree. He couldn't let a patient of his be mistreated. Not when he was here to stop it. Rick would become better, only if they let him to do so. Carson knew that the guy had been through enough, but Negan was treating him like he didn't care at all. 

"Look Negan" Dr Carson said as he was determined to be heard "Rick suffered a lot. Spending hours walking in the rain is like falling in a lake in the middle of the winter. He got frozen cold. You have to let him rest and he should eat warm foods like soups. I know that he is a prisoner but they have rights as well. Even in the old world. I'll intervene if I see him getting mistreated"

Negan gave him a glare. He could understand where Carson's concerns came from. Most thought he was a monster in this compound. He had to prove them wrong for once in his life. 

"Don't worry doc. I will not do anything to him. Can I take him to my room to be more comfortable?"

Carson gave him a concerned look. How would he keep an eye on Rick there? Negan could may as well beat him up and there would be noone to protect him. 

"You can check on him everyday" told him Negan as he saw Carson's hesitation "if I mistreat him in any way, you can keep him instead"

Carson shook his head in frustration. Noone should get to keep Rick. He was a human being for God's sake. But at least that was a solution to check out on Rick. 

"Fine" said Carson exasperated "but I'll be seeing him EVERY day" he warned. 

"You have a deal" said Negan as he picked Rick from the hospital bed to take him upstairs. 

"Please take care of him" told him Carson concerned about Rick. He knew that usually he was more than capable to protect himself but now he was weak and in pain. Not only physically but emotionally as well. He just hoped he had enough strength to come out of all this. 

\---  
Rick woke up but he was feeling catatonic. His throat hurt and he was burning up. Someone had placed a warm rag on his forehead which helped a bit with the heat. He coughed hard as he saw that he was laying on Negan's bed. His face had to be red both from the fever and the embarrassment he was feeling. He was sure that the only reason why Negan wasn't punishing him yet was because he thought that he was weak. Coming back sick after his attempt for freedom failed. There wasn't anything more degrading than that. He recalled everyone looking at him when he returned. He was sure that the whole compound was laughing at him now. 

The door to the room opened and there was none other than Negan. Rick sighed when he saw him expecting to be yelled at. He was holding a bowl in his hands. 

"Hey" he told him "you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine" answered Rick cringing when he heard how rough his voice was. 

Negan sighed and sat down beside him. 

"Brought you soup" he said as he looked down at the bowl "it will help with the throat..." Negan told him hesitantly as he gave it to him. 

Rick tried to sit up and he started eating with trembling hands. Negan averted his eyes, to give him some space to eat in his own time. 

The soup was admittedly very tasty, not that Rick would admit it out loud. 

He finished it and he felt his throat soften a bit. He laid back down as Negan focused his eyes on him. 

Rick wasn't in a mood to speak, all he wanted was to close his eyes and sleep to avoid the reality of being awake. 

"Look Rick I..-"

"Don't say anything Negan" told him Rick frustrated. 

"No Rick, I'm talking now" Negan said after Rick's attempt to shut him up "I know that I shouldn't have tried to kiss you but that is the only thing I'm gonna apologize for"

Rick got mad at that. He sat up again and despite his throat hurting he wanted to yell at Negan. 

"Oh really? What about when you forced me to walk miles in fear of you hurting my family if I didn't get back in time?!" he said with anger. 

"You are mine and I wanted you back" answered Negan annoyed by Rick's outburst. 

"Until when?" demanded Rick "you are gonna make me miss seeing my kids growing up? Their whole life? What crime did I do to deserve this fate?" he said frustrated as he was on the verge of tearing up. 

"You are staying and that is final" said Negan as he got up and grabbed the empty bowl. "You will never get what you want from me. I hate you" said Rick with bitterness in his rough voice. Negan's knuckles around the bowl turned white as he grabbed it very hard and he had to control himself to not hurt Rick. Instead he opted to storm out of the room, locking Rick in once again. 

So much for trying to keep his calm. He knew that Rick was right but it still hurt. Truth be told the guy never did anything to be treated this way..if anything his only misfortune was that he bumped into Negan.

What did he really want out of Rick? Mostly it had to do that he wanted to control him. He had always felt possessive over Rick since he had first saw him in the line up. 

"You are mine" he had told him. Forcing the guy to be his and actually wanting to be his, was a very long road between these two. For now they were stuck at forcing him. Not only that but he told him straight forward that he hates him. Negan sighed frustrated. Of course the "kids", he still had no idea who the second kid was, were a big problem between him and Rick. If he didn't have them, perhaps things would be much easier. Now he would always fight him, to get to go back to them. Making them come here wouldn't be acceptable either. Rick would think he did it to threaten him that he would kill them and his people already weren't happy with the whole prisoner exchange situation. When had they done this in the past? Letting one go and getting another one in his place? Never. 

Whoever became their prisoner, stayed their prisoner. That's how it went in the Sanctuary. If it was hard to turn Daryl into a Savior though, for Rick it would be impossible. He was more strong minded than his best friend and he would never willingly work for the Saviors despite how capable in fighting he was as Negan would imagine. Yesterday he got away like a pro. Not many would have the skills to do all that. 

He turned to a corner and saw Sherry smoking a cigarette. Another one who showed him openly her displeasure of having to stay with him. Her and Rick should become best friends. They would have a lot to talk about since they both hated him. 

"Sherry" he greeted her. 

Sherry gave him the stink eye as soon as she saw him. She should find a more hidden spot to smoke. 

"Negan" answered she coldly. 

"A little too early to be smoking huh?" he told her trying to make conversation. 

"It's never too early to smoke and drink in this place" she answered as she pressed her cigarette to snuff out the fire. 

She went to leave but Negan cornered her against the wall. 

"What do you want Negan?" she questioned as she crossed her arms. 

Negan glared at her. 

"You never told me what happened with the pregnancy test you took. In fact you never even told me of a pregnancy test. Had to find out myself and not only that but I find you smoking"

Sherry swallowed dryly at that. She thought that he wouldn't find out. 

"There was nothing to tell you. It came out negative, as always"

Negan felt disappointed despite not wanting to. So many wives and none of them got pregnant. He was starting to realise that he was the problem and not them. 

"We are still young, I'm not afraid" he told her in an attempt of humor, but he didn't find anything funny. They were young basically, he wasn't on the other hand. The chances of managing to have a baby were slim to none. 

Sherry looked at him without knowing what to say. Of course she didn't want a baby with Negan. Dwight would always be the person she loved. 

"If you will excuse me" she said as she hurried away to not show him her tears. 

Negan was left alone watching her go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always found it interesting how Negan despite having so many wives, he didn't got to have a kid of his own which maybe has to do that he couldn't have kids.That's why I thought to have them discuss about the pregnancy test. But he clearly has in him the want to have kids, considering how close he got to Carl, Judith and now Lydia


	8. Chapter 8

"You have ten minutes" said Negan coldly to Carson as he let him to his room. 

Dr Carson shook his head at the unfairness of it all. Rick was his patient. He couldn't do anything to improve his health faster but at least to offer him some emotional support. What would he do in just ten minutes? At least he would see him everyday so they could talk a bit and make Rick feel that he wasn't alone in all this. 

Rick had been left all alone after his argument with Negan yesterday. He knew that's how it would be from now and on. It was preferable to be left on his own, than having to face Negan but it could get lonely very soon. He wished he could go back in time and prevent Daryl being taken in the first place. Their lives would be different now. Suddenly the door opened and he heard Negan saying that someone had ten minutes. Ten minutes with who? 

Dr Carson entered the room and closed the door behind him. 

"Hey Rick" he told him offering him a small smile. 

Rick felt happy to see a familiar face at last. 

"Dr Carson" he told him as he smiled a bit as well "it's good to see you again and that you are ok"

Carson sat down beside the bed. 

"It hadn't been ideal, but I've been trying" he told him with a sigh. 

"How did Negan let you to see me?" Rick asked. 

"I demanded to check on you everyday. I don't trust him not to hurt you. Of course I never thought it would be only ten minutes but better than nothing I guess"

Rick swallowed hard. If Carson was so concerned, things weren't good for him. 

"We had an argument but other than that he didn't hurt me" told him Rick as he let out a cough. 

"If he does I need you to be honest and say it ,ok? I will not tolerate this behavior"

"I will. Thank you Carson" It was comforting to know that someone cared about these things in this place. 

"How have you been holding up Rick?" Carson questioned. 

"Well he doesn't let me go nor he plans to do so. Especially after escaping once. I miss my kids terribly" Rick said as he thought about his situation. 

"I understand" Carson sighed "Wish I could change his mind"

"Don't bother" Rick told him "He doesn't care about anyone but himself. I promise you though that one day I'll take him down and we can all live free again. Alexandria needs you Carson and they all miss you" 

"I miss them too" said Carson "Daryl had been here and he wasn't well. I get why you decided to take his place but look what he did to both of you..."

"I can take it better than Daryl" Rick replied. He didn't have anything to regret about his decision to save Daryl. It was what he had to do. 

"No matter what, you have to take care of yourself Rick. Which means eating and getting enough rest. Your immune system is weak after that adventure you had to go through"

"I will" promised Rick. 

The door reopened and Negan got in looking at them both suspiciously. Their time was up apparently. 

"Take care Rick" Carson told him as he gave a light pat at his leg and he stood up. 

"You too Carson" said Rick as he saw him walk past Negan to leave. 

When the door closed, Negan crossed his arms in front of him and looked at Rick. 

"Did you discuss your plan?" he demanded. 

"What plan exactly?" Rick asked as he was getting annoyed again. 

"To help you escape of course" told him Negan angrily. 

Rick let out a chuckle. This was getting better and better. 

"What is so funny?" Negan demanded to know. 

"You are. He didn't discuss any plans to help me escape. He just wanted to know how I am feeling. But you wouldn't know anything about feelings right?"

Negan let out a scoff at that. 

"You don't know anything about me Rick" he told him as he turned his back to leave. It was starting to get more and more difficult to talk with Rick about anything. "I will come by later"

Rick didn't even bother to reply. Negan had been avoiding to face him and he was hiding behind the fact that he could lock him to a room so he didn't have to deal with him. 

\---  
Negan sighed as he walked to his office. He wasn't making any improvement with Rick. If anything things between them were worse than before. 

He opened the door of his office and he almost jumped scared as he saw someone waiting for him. 

He closed the door behind him as he looked at his "visitor".

" How the hell did you sneak in here?" He demanded. Carl had decided to come to the Sanctuary a second time and he had managed to sneak into his office. 

"I want to see my dad" Carl said with hatred in his one eye. 

Negan let out a laugh. 

"You Grimes don't get the concept of a prisoner. There are no visitings, sorry kid. He doesn't get to see you and that's how it goes"

Carl was outraged at that. 

"How did you got him in the first place?" he demanded. 

"I didn't get him kid" Negan scoffed "he came here willingly"

"When are you gonna let him go?" Carl demanded to know. 

"Don't think I will" Negan replied as he saw the kid's eye filling with pain when he heard that. 

"I want to show you something in Alexandria" told him Carl as he was desperate to change Negan's mind. If he saw his baby sister maybe he would let his dad go. 

Negan stared at him and wondered what he wanted to show him. 

"Fine" he said eventually "let's go"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the story so far


	9. Chapter 9

Carl knocked on his house's door. Daryl opened the door and his face transformed to anger when he saw who was behind Carl. 

"What the hell is he doing here?!" he growled. 

"Daryl" told him Negan with a grin "how is your head?"

"Better" Daryl answered sharply "but not thanks to you"

"Daryl let us in" Carl intervened getting annoyed with their banter. 

"Over my dead body ,maybe" snapped Daryl as he looked at Negan. 

"We can arrange that" answered Negan with a calculating tone. 

"Ok enough" Carl raised his voice "Daryl this is my house and now that my dad is gone, I get to choose who enters"

"Rick would never do that and you know it" told him Daryl frustrated. 

"Well he is not around here to stop me ,is he?" answered Carl annoyed as he moved past Daryl and let Negan in who seemed pleased with their fight. 

Daryl let out an annoyed groan as he went to the kitchen to continue dinner. 

"Is he adopted by you nowadays?" Negan asked Carl. 

"No" answered Carl dryly "he just helps as much as he can"

"So what was that you wanted to show me kid? I've seen your house before"

"You haven't seen everything" told him Carl as he motioned him to follow upstairs. 

They passed Rick's room as Carl felt a pang of pain knowing that his dad wasn't there. Carl got him to the end of the corridor and opened a door to his left. There was an admittedly beautifully decorated toodler's room with a crib in the middle. Carl got into the room and Negan followed behind him confused by the whole room. 

Carl picked up a kid from the crib and held her gently in his arms. It was a small girl that couldn't be more than two years old with blonde hair. She tighted her little hands on Carl's shirt when he picked her up. 

Carl saw Negan being speechless and not knowing what to say. 

"This is my sister" he told him with a sigh "Judith"

So that was the second kid that Rick had slipped up about. A very cute baby girl. 

"How come I never seen her before?" Negan questioned although he could guess why. 

"My dad didn't want you to know about her. Thought you would harm her. But I'm not her dad Negan. Now I have to get out to scavenge in order to get things for your pickups. She cries a lot, asks for Rick. I know that you don't care that you ripped him from us, but please let her see him even just once. She needs her dad more than she needs me right now" Carl tried to reason with him. The past days had been hard after Rick went away and never came back. It was only until Daryl returned to Alexandria, that they found out what he had done. 

Judith couldn't understand all that though and she could sense that her dad was gone. This was his only chance to prevent his sister from having traumas later. He knew from himself how hard it had been when Rick had been away from him in the past. Judith was still a toddler, so it was even harder. 

Negan sighed as he looked at them both. He didn't know that Rick had a baby. That changed a lot. He had to let him see her even for a little bit. 

"He will think I took her to threaten him" he told Carl. 

"If he says that, tell him that I let you take her. He will get over it if it is for his daughter's wellness. Please just let him see her" he said in a pleading tone. 

Negan considered it seriously, he had no other choice really. 

"Ok fine, you win" he told him as he took Judith from his arms "I will bring her back tomorrow"

Judith gave him a hug and Negan felt weird that he was the one who was keeping her dad from her. Things had gotten very complicated.

Carl prepared a bag for him as Negan waited downstairs with Judith in his arms. 

Daryl walked into his personal space cornering him against the stairs. 

"If you do anything to either of them...-" he threatened. 

Daryl had grown beach size balls since he was let go apparently. 

"You will do what?" Negan told him aware that he was holding a baby "You know it's very easy to take you back to the Sanctuary again and Rick won't know a thing"

Carl hurried downstairs with some essentials for Judith and he saw Negan and Daryl almost toe to toe with his sister in the middle. 

"Here is her bag" he told him with an exasperated sigh "please take care of her"

Negan saw how worried he was. The kid was adorable either way, he had no intentions of hurting her. 

"Don't worry, I'll bring her back tomorrow" 

"If you don't we will be coming for you" growled Daryl. 

"I'm scared" answered Negan mockingly. 

Carl felt a headache coming. They were all so stubborn and instead of getting their attitudes together to realise their mistakes, they were making everyone's lives difficult. He just wished that one day he would let his dad go. He didn't know how long he could go on without him. 

Negan got to his car and looked at Judith who was babbling something he didn't understand. Carl had to be desperate if he would trust him with his baby sister. He realised what he had agreed to. Normally he wouldn't offer Rick such perks but it would be for once. He tried to persuade himself that he was doing it for the kid and not for this prick but he knew that it was a lie. 

\---  
It was pretty late when Negan got back to the Sanctuary. He was extra careful with Judith in the car and was constantly looking for Walkers in the dark road. Luckily they didn't meet any. Once he was in the safety of the Sanctuary he allowed himself to relax. Most had been off to sleep. That was good because he didn't want to explain what he was doing with a kid or why he brought her here. They wouldn't be happy to know the reason behind this. He grabbed Judith's bag from the car and he noticed that she had grown tired. 

He took her in his arms and he considered what he would be saying to Rick. Most likely he would be mad when he saw him with his daughter. He sighed as he prepared mentally for a fight. He unlocked the door to his room and got in. 

"Rick-" he started but he saw that Rick was fast asleep on his bed with a book in his hands. 

Looks like they wouldn't be talking today. 

He changed Judith to pyjamas and let her crawl on the bed next to her dad and she instantly moved closer to him and hugged his arm. Negan took the book from Rick's hands and left it by the bedside table. He felt his head with his palm and he was still with fever. Judith snuggled closer to her dad and Negan had no idea how he would be able to take her back tomorrow. 

The Grimes would be the end of him, he just knew it. 

He let them be and crashed to his couch. Tomorrow would be a long day.


	10. Chapter 10

Rick blinked as he felt someone moving slightly beside him. He looked out of the window and it was early morning. Negan was still sleeping at the couch. Rick didn't get why he still hadn't forced him to sleep on the couch instead and he was letting him sleep on his admittedly very comfortable bed. For a prisoner, he could at least say that he had been comfortable and cozy except from the first day that he had made him strip. 

He looked beside him and saw Judith sleeping as she had hugged his arm. Was he still dreaming? He blinked again as he expected her to disappear at any moment. But she didn't and only hugged him tighter. She was in her pyjamas that were definitely to his house in Alexandria. So that meant that Negan was behind her being here. But why? Not only he had discovered that he had a daughter but he brought her all the way from Alexandria and let her sleep next to him. Rick was more than happy to see her again, but he couldn't help but feel worried about Negan's motives. He coughed miserably as he was still suffering the consequences of walking around in such heavy rain. 

He looked at Judith and moved her closer to him. Negan wouldn't let her stay for long, he was sure of it, but he had missed her so damn much. Playing with her, cooking, teaching her things, even watching her sleep peacefully in her crib. It hurt that he was cut off from her. He let a tear roll down his cheek as he hugged her refusing to let her go. He closed his eyes again, wishing that they could stay like that. Lori was gone, he was gone, what would these kids do on their own? 

Rick opened his eyes again. It felt like it had been minutes later but the clock on the wall told him that it had been three hours since he fell asleep again. He looked at his side but Judith was not there.

"...and then the prince kissed the sleeping beauty and she opened her eyes, they lived happily ever after. The end" he heard Negan saying in a soft tone as he was sitting at the couch and was feeding Judith her milk. 

Normally the thought of Negan holding his daughter, would be something out of a nightmare for him but seeing how gentle he was, it made him relax a bit. 

He coughed once again and he sat up. 

Negan looked at him and he frowned. He stood up taking Judith in his arms as he gave her to Rick calmly. 

Rick hugged her against his chest as he looked at Negan. 

"What is she doing here?" he asked him with a sigh. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. 

"Carl gave her to me. Said that she had been crying and I thought that if she saw you for a bit she would calm down. I have to get her back later today"

"She is a toddler. Of course she would miss me. With a few hours you think that will change?" questioned Rick as he raised his eyebrow. 

"Even if you weren't a prisoner, which you seem to forget all the time" said Negan as he frowned at Rick "you know damn well that the Sanctuary is not a place for kids. It's not possible to stay here. Plus people have started talking. Noone else has gotten what you have. It's time to start treating you like the rest of the prisoners when the fever passes"

Rick was disappointed by Negan's behavior once again. On the one hand he did something kind like bringing his daughter because she was missing him and on the other he blamed Rick for having a special treatment. 

Judith felt the tension between them and started crying. 

"Shh baby" he said as he rocked her gently in his arms "Can you at least check on them regularly?" Rick begged Negan. "If you have to keep me away from them, then so be it, but please check on them"

"Fine" told him Negan eventually "I will make sure they have enough to get by and that they are safe"

Judith stopped crying and fell asleep again. Rick tried to memorize everything about her because there were difficult days ahead of him. 

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" questioned Negan more softly than before. 

"Why would I Negan? You almost made me cut Carl's arm. You keep me as your prisoner..."

"If I didn't keep you here ,you would be planning how to take us down" scoffed Negan. 

"Have you ever thought that I didn't wish to be a leader?" told him Rick with anger "I never asked anyone to follow me. If it was up to me I would just be growing up my kids. You act like I'm responsible for everything"

"You have one hour with your daughter" said Negan as he stood up "make it count"

"Right" answered Rick bitterly "run away like you always do"

"I'm just going to the bathroom actually" told him Negan with shrug as he turned his back to Rick and closed the bathroom door behind him. Soon Rick heard the water running. 

One of these days Negan would stop asking and start getting things from him. He kissed Judith's soft blonde hair and thought when she would be ripped away from him once again. 

He closed his eyes as his throat was aching. He was in need of rest. Rick hummed Judith a lullaby to help her calm down. 

He hoped that at least their short lived reunion would help her. Carl cared for her deeply but he couldn't take the burden of raising Judith on his own.

Negan exited the bathroom and had put on a fresh pair of pyjamas. It was still early in the morning to be doing anything else around the Sanctuary. Rick opened his eyes and looked at him as he walked towards the bed. 

"Lay down for a bit" said Rick eventually as he patted the space beside him. 

Negan looked at him surprised by the request. 

"Just please...?" continued Rick. He didn't know why but he needed someone right now by his side. Even if that was Negan. 

Negan swallowed dryly and decided to do what Rick told him without questioning it. 

He got to his side of the bed and laid down as he shifted to look at Rick and his baby girl while leaving a space between them. 

Rick looked very tired and like he had exhaustion overtaking him. 

He pressed his palm gently on his forehead realising that he was still with fever. 

Rick looked him straight in the eyes and he knew at that moment that all that crap he had been saying about treating him differently ,were just lies he told himself. 

If anything he had to start treating him better, not worse.


	11. Chapter 11

Negan took Judith to return her to Alexandria. It had been very difficult for Rick but Negan wasn't a total monster. He was already planning to bring her again for him to see her. 

"Cute baby Negan" he heard someone behind him. 

He turned around and it was Simon looking at them both. Negan thought he would get her out of there before anyone saw them but he was wrong apparently. 

"Simon" he greeted "yes she is" Said Negan as he looked at Judith who was hugging him by the neck. 

"Who's baby is she?" Simon questioned as he raised his eyebrow "she wouldn't happen to have anything to do with Grimes huh?"

"Grimes?" Negan asked ,acting confused "Of course not. He is lucky that I haven't killed Carl yet for his escape"

"Hmm" drawled Simon "you see Negan ,people are talking. They think that you're too soft with him"

Negan swallowed dryly at that. Now he would have everyone pressuring him to be hard on Rick. 

"Anyone else who would have dared to do what he did, they would have gotten the iron by now" Simon continued. 

Negan readjusted Judith in his arms. 

"Well as you must have heard, that prick came back sick. Carson already says that he is doing better. As soon as he can stand back up to his feet, I'll have him working no less harder. Be sure of it"

"I'm glad to hear it" told him Simon with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You can't go easy on him after everything he has done"

"I'm not. I just can't have him unable to even stand up and messing things up like his buddy Daryl before him"

"Yes, I understand" told him Simon with a nod "let's hope he will be more useful than Daryl"

"He will" answered Negan "He has a lot to lose to not cooperate"

"Well I hope you are right" said Simon "I'll leave you to go on with your business"

Negan gave him a nod as he turned around and tried to go to a normal pace to not look suspicious. Simon couldn't be serious that he would iron Rick's face. That was ridiculous. He knew that people had gotten punished for less but he would never do that to Rick. Truth be told he didn't want to force him to do anything. He would be more than ok to have him in his room like he had been these past days. But he had to play an act apparently. He sighed as he looked at Judith. 

"We are in big trouble" he told her calmly as she hummed. 

Simon watched Negan go away with the baby in his arms. David appeared behind him and stood beside him watching Negan as well. 

"Follow him" told him Simon "and report back to me where he went" 

David nodded and followed after Negan. 

\---  
"See, told you that I would bring her back safe and sound" said Negan to Carl and Daryl. 

"That means we can trust you?" asked Daryl with a scoff "you are still holding Rick"

"And I assure you that he is fine" answered Negan.   
He was getting tired of having to explain himself all the time. 

Carl suddenly left and went upstairs almost running. 

"You are an asshole, you know that?" said Daryl annoyed. 

"I will go talk to him, calm the hell down" Negan said exasperated. Daryl gave him an angry glare and grabbed Judith from him who was getting upset as well. 

Negan went upstairs in search for Carl. He opened all the doors except from one that was Rick's room and it was locked up. 

"Carl open up" Negan told him "I want us to have a talk"

"Go away" Carl said with muffled cries. 

"I will break down the door if you don't open ,with Lucille" Negan threatened. 

He heard the door getting unlocked and Carl whipped the tears from his one eye. 

"Don't you think you've done enough?" he told him bitterly. 

Negan sighed and walked in closing the door behind him. 

Everything around the room was very tidy, he guessed that's how Rick was as a person. 

"Where did your dad find a new mattress?" he questioned more curious than anything else. 

"On a run" said Carl as he sat down at the bed. 

Negan looked around and saw a framed picture by one table. It was Rick, Carl and one woman that if he would have to bet, it was Carl's mom. They were sitting outside of a house, smiling at the camera. They looked happy. It was definitely pre-apocalypse. 

He took the framed picture and sat down beside Carl. 

"Is that the person you were telling me about? Your mom?" he asked. 

"Yes" answered Carl as he took the picture from him "Lori was her name"

"Why did you kill her?" Negan asked him as now he had an idea why he would be forced to do such thing. 

"I was with my mom and Maggie when she got into labor. She had no medical help. Maggie had to cut her stomach open to save Judith. It was either that or they would both die. I had to put her down because she would turn into...one of them" Carl chocked out "After her death, dad did everything he could for us. To raise Judith and now you are keeping him from us"

Negan didn't know what to say to comfort him, he understood why Carl was hurting so much but things were complicated. 

"I can't promise when I'll let him go, but it won't be forever" he told him as he stood up. 

Carl gave him a glare as he watched him go. He curled on his father's bed wishing that time - the one that Negan talked about - would come soon. 

\---  
Rick was laying in bed and his mind was on his kids. It was very hard to let go of his daughter but he had no other choice. He just hoped Negan returned her safely to their home. 

He heard the door opening and thought that it was Negan who had returned from Alexandria. Since he would only drop her off it would make sense to be back by now. 

Instead of Negan three men entered the room. They were bulky and their faces were hard. What the hell were they doing here? 

"Who are you?" questioned Rick as he sat up. 

One of them chuckled but they didn't answer the question. Rick had a very bad feeling about all this. He didn't think that Negan let them in. 

The one that had chuckled pulled out a gun and pointed it at him. 

Rick stood up quickly and jumped for the door. They were faster though and the two of them grabbed him by the arms. He fought hard to get them off him but it was impossible. 

The last thing he saw was being knocked off with a gun as everything around him turned to black.


	12. Chapter 12

Carson was waiting for Negan by the entrance. 

"I want my ten minutes with Rick" he told him as soon as he saw him. He knew that if he wasn't persistent, he wouldn't get even that.

"Yeah" answered Negan with a sigh "I didn't forget. Come on, you can see him"

They walked upstairs to his room and Negan got out the key to unlock when he saw the door slightly open. He grabbed the door's handle and entered the room with Carson behind him. Everything was exactly like before he left except from one thing. Rick was not there. 

"Where is Rick?" questioned Carson as he took in the room. 

"I have no idea" Negan said as he looked at the empty bed. "He was right here when I left about one hour and a half ago" he walked towards the door and it had signs of trespassing from the inside. 

"Wasn't he locked up?" asked Carson. The door had signs that someone had forced it to open but not from the outside but from the inside. Negan saw one of his pen thrown down by the door. This could have been used to pick it up. 

"With that" he said as he showed him the pen "the door could have opened. It's just a door after all, it's not that hard to pick it up. Someone with common knowledge on picking up doors, could have done it."

Carson sighed as he could see where this was going. There was evidence that Rick had picked up the door. 

"Rick was sick Negan. Why would he be picking up doors?" he told him trying to reason with him. 

Negan stood up and wanted to smash everything with Lucille. Rick was gone, for a second time. 

"Except from sick, he was also a Sheriff's Deputy, if anyone could know how to do this ,it would be him" he answered as he threw the pen away with anger. "Only he could have done this, there are no signs of a fight or something and my people know that this room is off limits"

"Again: why? So he would be caught again? Come on Negan, Rick is smarter than that" Carson told him exasperated. 

"How would I know Carson?" Negan spat out as he got close to his face "I trust him to stay put and he is gone, twice. There are no walkie talkies to talk to this time. No way to find him. He is not stupid to go back to Alexandria and yet he is defenseless. Some time out there on his own and he will most likely die"

"And why the hell would he do all that Negan?!" demanded Carson. 

"To get away from me" told him Negan with bitterness "don't you see a pattern in his behavior?"

Carson didn't know about patterns, all he knew was that Rick was with a fever and emotionally unstable. It wasn't easy being in captivity from one day to the other. Negan was pissed off though and he was unable to see that. 

"I will take Daryl until he comes back" he decided. 

"What?!" intervened Carson "please Negan don't do that" he begged. 

"That is the only way. Maybe if he goes back home and sees what his actions caused, he will man up at last" 

With that he stormed off leaving Carson alone who let out a sob. "Where are you Rick?" he thought. 

\---  
Rick's head was aching. He was tied up to a chair in an empty cabin that had pieces of woods on the windows to prevent the light from coming in. It smelled strongly like mold. He could not feel the usual curls touching lightly his neck. 

Suddenly the door opened and it was locked up again. One opened a lamp that was right above his head and the room lit up. 

Rick groaned as his eyes were sensitive to light. He could feel his face burning up again. This wasn't good for his fever. 

He tried to adjust and looked up. There was one guy smiling at him. He had seen that man before. In the line up. Negan had said that he was his right hand man. 

"Ricky! You are awake at last" told him Simon. 

"What do you want from me?" Rick said with difficulty. He wasn't feeling well at all. 

"Oh me? Nothing. You on the other hand though it's time to suffer a bit. I mean come on where have you seen a prisoner getting to see his daughter?" he let out a chuckle. 

"Leave her out of this" Rick yelled out despite his throat hurting. 

"Such manners" said Simon disappointed "wonder what Negan taught you. Nothing apparently. He turned disgustingly soft, because of you"

"What the hell do you want?" Rick demanded once more. 

"Negan's fall has begun Ricky and you are the reason behind it. It's sad really. He could have had it all and he became weak over a bunch of nobodies. His fall is gonna start when he finds out that you got eaten by wild animals"

Rick's eyes widened at that. 

"Don't worry" Simon let out a laugh "not for real. An already dead guy, the pyjamas you were wearing and your hair will be enough to convince Negan". He pulled out a mirror and showed Rick his face. He was red from the anger and the fever and his hair had been cut off to very short. He was also in just boxers and a grey T-shirt. 

Rick shook his head in misery. This couldn't be happening to him. 

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"The Sanctuary needs someone capable in charge. That person is not Negan, not anymore. He got blinded by you and your little family. He needs to be gone and soon"

"You think he will get played so easily?" Rick demanded. 

"Don't worry Rick. A sight like that one that Negan is about to see ,will be enough to believe everything. If he cared even slightly for you, it will be a strong enough image that will get stuck in his brain"

"As for you" he told him "if you don't want to become real food for the wild animals, you will stay calm and soon enough you will have Negan as a company" 

With that he turned off the light again and walked out of the cabin locking him in. 

Rick's body shook as he sobbed violently. He wished someone would show him some mercy and kill him already. Because of him everyone would get hurt once again.


	13. Chapter 13

Negan banged Lucille against his office when suddenly Sherry got in without even knocking first.

"Get out" he told her as soon as he saw her. He didn't wish to see anyone right now. 

"No" said Sherry determined, as she turned the door's lock. 

"Sherry I'm not in the mood. Don't make me put my anger on you" said Negan as he sat down. 

"Heard what happened. That you sent Dwight to get Daryl back" Sherry told him as she crossed her arms in front of her. 

"What do you want me to do? Rick is gone for a second time. You want me to just let them be?" told her Negan. He was feeling betrayed and confused. 

"Didn't he come here exactly so Daryl could be free?" said Sherry. None of this made sense to her. 

"Yes he did" answered Negan as he rubbed his head. He didn't know what to think anymore. 

"Why he got away the first time?" asked Sherry. 

"I came back drunk and tried to kiss him" admitted Negan. "That was understandable why he did it, he got scared. I completely ignored his feelings"

"Alright..." drawled Sherry "what about since he came back?"

"We had some bickering but nothing more. Today he even asked me to lay beside him" he said with a sigh. 

"So that means he trusted you- or at least begun to do so" told him Sherry. 

"Yes maybe. I don't know Sherry. The point is he already escaped once and he is capable of doing it again"

"Yeah and what life he would have exactly? On the run without his friends and family?"

"I am not inside Rick's mind Sherry" told her Negan as he raised his hands up "I don't want to believe he did it, but noone saw anything. I send out people to look for him"

"Ask Daryl's help" she told him. 

"Daryl should be brought here again as a prisoner, you want me to send him out to search for his friend?"

"He is the best in tracking and you know it. You will gain nothing by putting him through all that again"

"Why are you defending them all of sudden?" questioned Negan as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

"I have seen enough injustice already. I'm done standing around and watching it. It's your choice if you want to continue it or not" with that she turned her back, unlocked the door and got out.

Negan opened a drawer and pulled out Rick's gun. All the pain he had caused Rick and for what? All he wanted was for him to be safe. There was nothing more important than that. 

\---  
"You are not taking him" Carl said as he got in the way. 

"Negan's orders kid" said Dwight as he pointed his gun to Carl and Daryl. 

"Do you seriously want us to believe that Rick just left?" growled Daryl. 

Dwight lowered the gun and looked at them. 

"Don't think he did" he told them as he sighed. 

"Then what the hell is all that about?" Daryl said exasperated. 

"What do you want Negan to think, Daryl? He did get away once. But don't think he went away a second time. It makes no sense to put his family in danger like that"

Carl sat down to the couch and he put his face in his hands feeling desperate. Where was his dad? 

"We will find him Carl, don't worry" told him Daryl as he tried to comfort him. He knew Rick very well and that didn't seem like something he would do at all. Someone had forced him to leave. 

Dwight's radio cracked to life. 

"Dwight do you copy?" Simon told him. 

Dwight gave Carl and Daryl a glare as he took the walkie talkie in his hands. 

"Yeah I copy"

"My guys found Rick" Simon told him "we will meet with Negan as well to show him to you"

Dwight turned off the walkie talkie as his eyes widened. 

"He did something to Rick" he told them. 

Carl and Daryl looked at each other. 

"Why are you saying that?" asked Daryl. 

"Negan barely had time to tell me. When did Simon find him already? Don't you think that's fishy?" he questioned. 

"It is" said Daryl "the issue is what he did to Rick if indeed he took him"

"We need to find out more" answered Dwight "look we have to play along for now. Come with me to see what Simon " found" and let them think that you will take Rick's place again" Dwight told them. 

"Let me find someone to take care of Judith first" said Carl as he left them alone. He had a bad feeling about all this. 

\---  
Carl let out a sob as he dropped to his knees. There on the ground was his father's body. 

"You did that" yelled Daryl as he went to attack Negan but he was stopped by Dwight pulling his gun at him giving him a warning with his eyes. 

Negan walked towards the decapitated body with hardness in his face and hooded eyes. 

The face was almost unrecognizable. Yet there were Rick's curls and the pyjamas he had been wearing. Simon said he got eaten by the animals of the woods.

"Take him back to bury him" he ordered his men as he turned his back to Rick's dead body. "Them too" he said to Dwight pointing to Daryl and Carl who looked at him with hatred. 

"Such a shame" Simon said shaking his head in "sadness". As Negan turned his back he smirked to himself. His plan was working perfectly. 

\---  
"Get them to my office" Negan said to Dwight who had Carl and Daryl on gunpoint. 

"Move" ordered Dwight as Carl and Daryl had to do what he told them. They sat down at two chairs. 

The door opened again and Negan got in closing the door behind him and locking. 

Dwight relaxed and lowered the gun. 

"He will pay for what he did" said Negan as he looked at the three of them with anger. 

"What?" asked Carl confused. 

"Come on kid, who Simon thinks fell for that?" questioned Negan exasperated "if anyone has any ideas where Rick is, it's time to hear them"

\---  
Rick was freezing out. If he stayed here the whole night he would most likely die from hypothermia. The winter was harsh and he was only wearing his boxers and a T-shirt in a cold cabin. 

He was burning up and he was feeling dizzy. His life depended on getting the hell out of there though. He tried to recall all the things he had learned if he was ever caught. He struggled a lot with the rope and eventually he got it loose enough. He continued trying and soon he managed to release himself. 

Rick put his palm on his face and he was sweaty and feverish. He got up and felt everything spinning as he stood up. He took deep breaths to calm himself down and walked towards the door. The cabin was old and so were the doors and windows. Rick took a breath once again and kicked the wooden door as hard as he could. 

"Come on, come on" he said in his head as he continued kicking it. 

Soon it couldn't hold anymore and it opened with a loud thud. 

The air was freezing cold and Rick braced himself from the door's frame to not pass out. He ran his fingers through his cut off hair and felt like he wanted to cry once again. He didn't have the luxury of a breakdown though. The chances of Simon coming back were big. He grabbed a wood from the ground and used it support himself as he walked. His only chance of survival was to find a place to shelter from the harsh winter weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the story so far


	14. Chapter 14

Rick had no idea where he was. He could be miles away from the Sanctuary. He was trembling violently and he didn't think he could go on for much longer. In the darkness he made out the shape of a building. It turned out it belonged to a farmer before the apocalypse and it was a storage place like a garage for agricultural machinery. It was almost as cold as the outside but at least he thought it would protect him a bit. He sealed the door with great difficulty and he looked around him. Most equipment were for cultivation but he spotted an old tractor in the back. He walked towards it and climbed inside as he gasped in pain. He closed the door behind him and finally he was somewhere warm. The glass around the passenger's seat had protected the vehicle from getting cold as well. He rested his head back against the seat and coughed hard. His health had gotten dramatically worse and he was at risk of pneumonia judging by the way his cough sounded. He was also burning up. 

His chances of making it through all that were slim to none. He had faced difficulties in the past but nothing compared to this nightmare. Even if he didn't die from the fact that he was sick, he would die from the lack of food and the lack of weapons. He was tired of fighting, Rick wished everything to be over at last. His heart was aching for his kids when they would be told he got eaten by animals but maybe that was the way to prevent them from knowing that he would die slowly and all alone in the middle of nowhere. He just hoped Negan understood what game this son of a bitch- Simon - was playing and preventing him from taking over. If the Alexandrians had it bad already, their life would be a hell with Simon in charge. No matter what Negan thought of him in his final moments, he needed to believe that he would care about his people-his kids. He wouldn't let his death be for nothing. 

All the times Rick had been defiant towards Negan, when he had looked him with hatred and had snarled out that he was gonna kill him and yet he realised how much he wanted Negan alive even if he would be gone. Tears rolled down his face, he couldn't hold it together any longer. He recalled all the people he had lost through the years, all the pain he had felt. He got tired of being strong, of having to make all the tough decisions. The fearless Rick Grimes was gone, the one that believed that everything would turn out ok. All he was left was with hopelessness now. He curled to himself and let the exhaustion drive him to a dreamless sleep. 

\---  
Daryl was snoring softly at the couch as he had fallen asleep. The only way to find Rick was to follow Simon to see if he would lead them to him. For the time being there was nothing they could do. Negan shipped from his drink and looked out of the dark window. Rick was somewhere out there, all alone, hurting and in the hands of Simon. He just wanted to threaten him that he would bash his head in if he didn't tell him where Rick was but that would put Rick in a worse situation. He couldn't believe that the same person who dared to hurt Rick was sleeping in his compound. He was also a person who had hurt Rick though. Maybe he had lost his chance to prove him that he could be better. Rick's last image of him would be that he was a tyrant who had selflessly locked him up and allowed him to get caught by worse people than him. 

Carl was still awake and was looking lost at the floor. Negan sighed as he turned to look at him. 

"You should sleep as well. Your dad wouldn't want you to be staying awake ,worrying" Negan told him softly. 

"How to sleep Negan? My dad is out there in the cold, probably fighting for his life" Carl answered as he let out a sob. 

Negan sat down beside him, he knew that Carl was right but there was nothing they could do. 

"You know when I met all of you, no matter how terrible our first meeting was, I thought the leader would be someone who would be easily recognisable. I thought that someone was joking when I found out it was the blue eyed guy who was trembling in fear.." Negan sighed "I thought that he was weak, that I could easily make him bend to my will. He was never weak. In fact he is one of the bravest people I've got to know in my life" 

One tear rolled down from his eyes. 

"My point is that he is gonna make it once again. Whatever shit they put him through, he is gonna overcome it. He has you guys to survive for"

Carl had tears in his face as well as he looked at him. 

"He has you too" he told him. 

Negan let out a bitter chuckle. 

"Not sure about that kid but thank you" Negan said with a small smile. 

He patted him lightly on the shoulder. 

"Have the bed Carl, you need rest for tomorrow" he told him as he stood up. 

"Goodnight Negan" Carl replied as he walked to the bathroom to get ready for sleep. 

Negan watched him walk away as he remembered when he had gotten Rick to the same bathroom some days ago. He really hoped they would find Rick before it was too late. 

\---  
Simon got up with a great mood. He would go check on Rick and maybe feed him something. He needed Negan to get to see him first and then they would both die. He walked to the cafeteria and saw Dwight making a dog food sandwich. 

"How has the cell been treating Daryl?" he asked him cheerfully.

"Like he never left" told him Dwight with a smirk although in his head he wanted to strangle him on the spot. 

Simon chuckled "Good to hear it, at least Negan got something in return for all that Rick put him through"

"Yeah definitely" Dwight nodded in agreement. 

"It's always a good day when these pricks get what they deserve" Simon laughed as he walked away. 

He who laughs last laughs best, thought Dwight as he threw the disgusting sandwich away and went to find Negan, Daryl and Carl. They had to follow him to see where he would go. 

\---  
Simon arrived at the cabin and parked outside it unaware that he was being watched. 

He was a few steps away from entering when he saw that the door was opened. He walked in and he saw the rope that Rick was tied up on the ground. 

"Dammit" he thought in anger as he threw the rope down. 

Rick had escaped. He shouldn't panic though because he doubted that he would survive for long. He had nothing to survive out there. Maybe his lie would become reality and he would get attacked by wild animals for real. 

He walked out and he got in the car again. 

"He is gone" said Negan as they walked out of their hiding spot. 

They looked at the old cabin. Could this be where he was holding Rick? 

They walked cautiously towards it. It smelled old and very weird. In the middle was a chair and on the floor there was a rope. 

Dwight picked it up and showed it to them. 

"It is bloody" said Dwight as his eyes widened. 

That meant that Rick had fought hard to release himself. Negan and Carl looked around and there was no other sign, something that would lead them to Rick's whereabouts.

He could be literally anywhere.


	15. Chapter 15

Negan looked at the ground outside of the cabin and he was feeling lost. They had one chance to find Rick and he was gone. At least he managed to escape but where was he? 

"These look fresh" said Daryl suddenly as he examined the muddy ground. 

Negan's head snapped to look at him and they all got closer to look. 

They were almost erased but these on the ground were definitely footsteps. Rick's most likely. 

"Do you think you can follow them?" questioned Negan with a slight hope. 

"Yeah, since they are not completely erased. Since he left on foot he can't be too far away, he had to be looking for someplace safe"

Negan looked at Dwight and Carl. Could this be their way of finding Rick?

Daryl started following the footsteps carefully to not miss them. They had walked for about ten minutes when the ground started becoming more solid and there were no footsteps to be seen. 

"This is all the way the footsteps go" said Daryl with a sigh.

"He couldn't have gone much longer though" said Negan "this is far enough from the cabin which I bet was what he wanted"

"Yes" drawled Daryl as they continued walking. 

"Look at that" said Carl suddenly as he showed them a building not too far away "this looks like a place to hide"

"Let's go" said Negan as he hurried towards it. 

The door was sealed though. How they would get in? 

Negan banged it hard with Lucille and soon they were able to open it. All around were agricultural machinery and there was no sign of Rick. 

Where are you Rick, Negan thought as he bit his lip. 

Suddenly he heard a gasp coming from the back of the garage. 

"Guys" yelled Negan "he is here"

He ran towards the sound and he saw an exhausted Rick trying to get out of a tractor he had climbed in. 

"Dad!" Carl ran towards him with tears in his face. 

Rick could barely hold his consciousness. He coughed hard as Negan helped him out of the tractor. 

He rested his head against it as he saw Negan, Carl, Daryl and Dwight looking at him very worried. 

"Oh my god Rick" said Daryl as he put a hand over his mouth and his eyes widened "they cut off his hair" and that was only one of the things that were wrong with Rick. He was just in boxers and a T-shirt in such cold weather and he was shivering. 

This was another level of inhumanity. Negan was gonna kill Simon and make him pay for everything he did to Rick. 

"Hey, hey Rick!" said Negan as he shaked him "don't you dare give up now. You are gonna be ok, you hear that? Daryl, Dwight go get the car" he told them as they nodded and hurried to go back to the car. 

Rick opened his eyes slightly and looked at Carl and Negan.

"You.. Found me" he whispered very weakly. 

"We did Rick" said Negan as he had tears in his eyes "that doesn't mean you are free now, you get this? We need you and take that as an order" he told him as he sobbed. 

Rick let out a small chuckle and he closed his eyes. He had no strength anymore. At least he wasn't dying alone like he thought he would. Now he knew that he would leave in peace. 

There was nothing to be afraid of anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

"He has pneumonia" said Carson as he removed the stethoscope from his ears. He sighed as he saw how weathered Rick looked. He had never seen him with such short hair again. The issue was not the hair though, it would grow again, the issue was the psychological trauma that Rick had to go through. 

Dwight appeared by the door in a hurry and he didn't look happy at all. 

"He got away" he told them. 

"What?!" demanded Negan "how did he manage that so soon?" So Simon didn't stay to face the consequences of his actions. 

"There are many cars gone from the parking lot - he must have had supporters amongst the Saviors" answered Dwight disappointed that they got away as well. They needed to pay. All of them but mostly Simon. 

"He won't stay away for long" said Negan with a scoff "when he does reappear, I'm gonna be ready"

"What about Rick?" questioned Daryl as he furrowed his eyebrows. He stood up from his chair and walked closer to Negan's face. 

"What about him?" said Negan. He was already angry and he didn't like the tone Daryl was starting to have. 

"He is coming back to Alexandria" told him Daryl like it wasn't up for discussion. 

"Technically he is still mine" he said as he crossed his arms in front of him. Carson looked at him with an incredulous glare, it wasn't the time for all that. "But that's not the point. Here he has 24/7 medical attention and I promise to care for him more than myself"

"With Simon still out there" intervened Carson "it's not safe for you and the kids either, Daryl. Maybe you should stay here until the danger is gone. That way you can be next to Rick as well. He will need you all and when all that happens HE should decide what to do" said he as he gave Negan a pointed look "the last thing he needs is to be treated like a prisoner all over again"

"So what are you gonna do...?" drawled Negan. 

Daryl let out a sigh. He couldn't believe that he was willingly doing this. But it was what he had to do right now. 

\---  
"He needs sleep, rest, rest and did I say?...rest!" told him Carson as he was checking on Rick "nothing that will make him feel in any way pressured or bad. He may want to speak or he may not, hear him out and don't force him to do anything he doesn't want to"

Negan raised his hands up in surrender. 

"Ok, ok I promise" he said "I wasn't planning to do all that either way, forcing him etc. I know that he's been through too much"

"He needs to stay clear from things that will stress him out so keep all that about Simon to yourself. When the time comes ,when he will heal, you have to let him decide if he wants to stay or not. He needs to regain control of himself and the ability to make his own decisions. He's had enough of things being forced to him"

Negan swallowed hard. He knew that this was the right thing, but he didn't want to let him go. He was so close to losing him and he didn't want them to go back to the enemies. Nor he wanted him to stay there because of some stupid deal that didn't even matter anymore. He wanted him to stay, because that was his choice. He would try to make every moment count though while he still had him and try to fix Rick, both physically and psychologically. After that if he wanted to leave, he wouldn't stop him. 

\---  
"Rick wake up! Wake up you asshole!" 

Rick gasped as he opened his eyes, feeling his heartheat running fast. 

"Hey, hey you are safe" he heard and he saw a pair of hazel looking at him worried. 

He looked around and he was in Negan's bedroom. That calmed him for some reason. His body rocked as ge coughed hard. Negan gave him a glass of water with a plastic straw and he took two sips before laying back again. 

"How are you feeling?" asked him Negan. 

"Like I've swallowed glass" said Rick as he coughed again. His fever was pretty high again. 

Negan sighed. 

"Dr Carson will make it pass soon. You know how good he is. He will do everything he can for you"

"I know" Rick whispered as he closed his eyes. He was too tired to stay awake any longer. 

He felt Negan squeezing his hand lightly as he tried to support him. 

It made him feel that he wouldn't allow anything else to happen to him. 

Negan was tired as well. The day had been very stressful with almost losing Rick. He thought to crash at the couch but instead he went to the other side of the bed and laid without even bothering to put on pyjamas first. He gave one last look to Rick and closed his eyes as well.


	17. Chapter 17

Rick was sitting at the police car. The one that had put him in a coma to begin with. It was a beautiful day outside. By the passenger's side, there was Shane. Looking very alive and smirking at him. 

"Long time no see Rick" he told him as he took a bite from his burger. 

"How are you alive?" asked him Rick being very confused. 

Shane chuckled. 

"Of course I'm not alive Rick. At least alive in the traditional way. But that doesn't mean I'm dead either. I will always be a part of who you are, you know that and that is what keeps me alive to begin with"

Rick looked out of the window at the bright sun. 

"I'm looking for my family" he admitted. 

"Oh so that's what you are doing" said Shane with a smirk "looking for your family huh? See that's not entirely true, one could argue that it is my family you are looking for, right? How is my baby girl by the way?"

Rick let out a laugh at Shane's audacity. 

"You're such an asshole" he told him. 

"Yes I am, yes I am" Shane said as they both laughed. "You know a lot about assholes though. In fact you are currently living with one"

"You mean Negan?" asked Rick. 

"Yes" Shane chuckled "wish I was still alive to meet him"

"Ermm don't know how that would go" drawled Rick. 

"You are not looking for your family Rick, because you already have them" told him Shane as he shook his head. "You may not know it yet, but Negan will be a part of your family as well"

"But how? We are enemies, I'm his prisoner" questioned Rick hesitantly. 

"Come on Rick" said Shane "you are smarter than that. You know I wasn't entirely evil either. Sometimes it's the circumstances that influence someone. If he was that evil, why did he save you? He could have let you freeze out there"

Rick teared up at that. 

"I don't know how to open up again Shane. I've been hurt, tortured, broken down... Who could possibly love me?"

"That's up to you to decide Rick. Who is worthy to be by your side. I am just saying that you should give people a chance to prove themselves. I know that you are afraid, but that makes you human Rick"

"It had to be me, in that field" told him Rick with glassy eyes. 

"No Rick it hadn't. I want you to think when you ripped that guy's throat out, that asshole in the church with the red machete, that's what I need from you"

"I don't know how to go on" Rick said as he sobbed. 

"Hey listen to me" demanded Shane "dying may be hard, but living is harder. Especially what you went through. The choice is yours. You can stay here forever, stuck in the past or you can wake up and continue fighting. The choice is yours and noone will judge you for it. No matter how much I would like to beat some sense into you"

"I-" Rick started as he whipped the tears from his eyes. He thought of Carl, Judith, Daryl and Negan. They needed him and he needed them. 

"I will go back" he said eventually. 

Shane smiled. 

"Well looks like we are on a good path" he told him as he finished his burger. 

"Why do you get to have a burger and I don't?" questioned Rick as he smirked at him. 

"I am dead Rick" Shane chuckled "I deserve a burger" 

Rick laughed as both Shane and the police car disappeared from his vision. 

\---  
"Is he any better?" Negan asked Carson softly to not wake up Rick. 

"No still with a fever" Carson shook his head "it will take time to heal, pneumonia was serious even before the Apocalypse but if he does everything that people did before it which means staying in bed and resting, I believe that he will be ok sooner rather than later. 

" Give him that every morning after breakfast" he said as he handed him a box of pills "I know that you have a rule against medication to prisoners but-"

"If I could find a whole damn hospital for him, I would" said Negan as he took the pills. "Don't worry. We will find pills again"

Carson gave him a nod. He was glad to see Negan changing his behavior. Only good things could come from that. 

"Let me know if he needs anything"

Negan looked at Rick and he was mumbling something about a person called "Shane", he wondered who that was. There were so many things he didn't know about Rick yet. 

\---  
Negan decided to get them something to eat from the cafeteria. After that he would make sure Daryl and the kids were ok as well. He knew how hard it was for Daryl to swallow his pride and stay here so he had to make him feel comfortable. 

He turned to a corner and he saw Sherry hugging Dwight with tears in her eyes. He hid behind the wall to not be seen. They would most likely be in a panic if they saw him appearing in that moment. 

Negan closed his eyes as he rested his head against the wall. He couldn't even blame them that they were seeing each other behind his back. He had forced them to a life where they had to be apart and pretend that they were ok with it when they definitely weren't. 

The Negan from some weeks ago would make a huge deal about it and punish them for daring to do something like that. Instead he turned his back and went to the cafeteria from a different way. 

When they were done with Simon, he would let them be. Not only them but everyone. He was done with all this, he needed a new page in the book of Negan.


	18. Chapter 18

Daryl got into Negan's bedroom hesitantly and he was surprised that it wasn't locked. He guessed that Negan didn't worry that he would take Rick and leave. Not that he wasn't thinking about it, but Rick wasn't in a situation to be doing these things and he didn't want to pressure him. The real danger was out there after all. 

Rick opened his eyes as he heard the door opening and gave Daryl a small smile when he saw him. 

"Hey buddy" said Daryl as he felt emotional. He walked by the side of the bed and sat down next to him. 

"Daryl" answered Rick almost whispering. His throat was hurting a lot and he was sweating. "Thank you for rescuing me" he told him with tears in his eyes. 

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't need rescue Rick" told him Daryl as he shook his head in denial. 

"Don't say that now" Rick begged him. 

"It's the truth Rick" said Daryl as he bit his lip to stop the trembling that had begun. All the guilt he was feeling, it just hurt too much. "Glenn died because of me, because I punched Negan. Then he took me for revenge and you had to come save me once again. So don't tell me that I'm not to blame" said Daryl as he sobbed. 

"Daryl you are a survivor" Rick tried to comfort him as tears rolled down his eyes as well. It wasn't the best time to be having emotional breakdowns but it just happened. 

"In your place I wouldn't even want to see me again" said Daryl bitterly. 

"Daryl just-don't do that" pleaded Rick as he coughed hard. 

Negan opened the door to his room with a tray of food just to see Rick and Daryl crying their eyes out and Daryl's had turned red. When Daryl saw him he turned his head and whipped the tears as fast as he could. Rick just let them keep falling as he looked at him. 

Negan stood dumbfounded by the door. What was all that for? One moment he leaves Rick sleeping and the other he is crying with Daryl despite the fact that his health is not good already. 

"If you will excuse me...-" said Daryl as he stood up fast and got out of the room. 

Negan walked by Rick slowly and he looked down at him as he continued crying. 

He sat beside him and rubbed run his fingers through his dark hair awkwardly. 

"You know what did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?" he asked him suddenly. 

"No..." drawled Rick as he looked at him. 

"He said : HeHe" Negan told him seriously. 

Rick took a minute to register that it was a joke and let out a small chuckle despite his sadness. 

Negan smirked a bit at him. 

"You know what is better than scientist jokes?" he asked as Rick shook his head negatively "Food" he told Rick as he showed him the food he had brought. 

"I want to sleep again Negan" said Rick as he was feeling weak and tired. 

"A little bit Rick" Negan told him pleadingly "Do you really want to face Carson's wrath when he finds out you hadn't been eating?" Negan continued acting scared. 

Rick thought about it as he sighed. 

"Guess not.." he said eventually. 

"Smart move" told him Negan as he handed him an omelette with bread by the side. 

Rick tried to eat as much as he could but he just wanted to fall asleep again. 

After Negan saw he ate enough, he handed him a glass of water and a pill. "Carson's orders" he told him as he watched him swallowing it and drinking some water. 

He helped him lay back down and tucked the blanket to cover him. 

Rick hummed as he felt warmth surrounding him. He was asleep again in minutes. 

\---  
Negan left the room to go find Daryl. They needed to have a talk about making Rick a mess when he wasn't well at all. Suddenly he heard arguments outside. What was that? 

He went out and saw that the noise was coming from their gates. He walked towards it fast and saw the guards that were on watch having a heated argument with Carl who had somehow gotten a gun and was pointing it at them. 

"What is happening here?" Negan demanded as he saw his men looking at Carl angrily. 

"He is threatening that he will kill us" told him one exasperated. 

Negan looked at Carl as he crossed his arms in front of him expecting some answers. 

Carl sighed and lowered the gun. 

"I wanted to leave and they don't let me" he told him at last. 

"Hand over the gun" Negan said as he opened his hand expectedly. Carl considered it and he decided to do as he was told. 

"Keep him in check Negan" one told him as he gave Carl an angry glare. 

"I will, don't worry" he replied as he took Carl by the arm and led him away. 

When they were far away he stopped and looked at Carl. 

"What are you doing Carl?!" he demanded "you know that their job is to protect the Sanctuary, right?"

"So are we all prisoners now?" Carl asked him annoyed. 

"No you're not ,but why do you want to leave so badly?" he questioned him. 

Carl swallowed hard as he looked somewhere in the distance. 

"I want to kill Simon" he told him eventually. 

Negan sighed as he threw the gun away and gave him a hug. 

"We will find him Carl. Don't need you putting yourself at risk. Your dad and your sister need you more. They can't lose you for a person like Simon. Let's go see your sister and forget all that ok?"

"Ok..." Carl agreed hesitantly.


	19. Chapter 19

Rick was at a valley. Everything was very peaceful. There were cows roaming in the distance. He noticed a person that was sitting on the grass, enjoying the view. He walked closer and he froze as he saw who it was. 

Lori turned her head to him and gave him a smile. 

"Good to see you Rick" she told him. 

"Lori.. How?" asked Rick at a loss of words. 

"You saw Shane already. As he was a part of your life, I played a part in it as well. Although I did some pretty unforgivable things"

"You died so Judith could live, Lori" told her Rick.

"Yes that's one of the only right things I did. I didn't treat you well though. Now I can see it clearly"

Rick sighed as he looked at the ground. 

"It hasn't been easy Lori, I've met terrible people. They were a threat to Judith. I wasn't enough to protect her"

"You did what you could Rick. There wasn't anything more you could have done for Carl and Judith. Especially knowing that she was Shane's child. Plus not everyone was terrible. Negan cares a lot for our kids and you"

"You think a bat wielding person,like Negan, could make me happy?" asked Rick confused. 

"Only you have the answers to that Rick. I'm a part of your subconscious after all. How could I know for sure? But there are things that are right before our eyes"

"He killed my friends though, he holds me prisoner..." Rick said in disappointment. 

"Negan is as troubled as the rest of us, that doesn't make him neither the best person in the world nor the worst. It just makes him who he is. He may lack several things that you have and you may don't have things that he has. The point is that he is willing to change. To become better"

Rick looked away bitterly as he felt his eyes stinging. 

"I never wanted you to die" he told her as he shook his head. 

Lori touched him in the face softly to make him look at her. 

"I know that you didn't, but it's time to let go of the past Rick. I live through Carl and Judith, they are so much better than me in fact" Lori let out a small chuckle "you have a lot more to show to the world Rick. You are a fighter, you adapted to this new world better than the most of us and you have to continue to do so"

"I don't know if I can" said Rick hesitantly. 

"You can" told him Lori as she kissed his forehead "I am your subconscious, I know a thing or two as well" she continued with a small laugh. 

Rick smiled a bit as well as he gave her a hug. 

"Don't be afraid to put him in his place when he is an asshole" Lori said with a smirk. 

Rick remembered the talk he had with Shane and he chuckled. 

"I will, I promise" he said. 

Lori let out a laugh as both she and the valley started disappearing. 

\---  
Negan and Carl went to his wives room that Judith had been staying during the day and he saw Sherry hugging her in her arms as she did funny faces to her. That's the most happy he had seen her in a long time. Maybe it wasn't meant for him to have kids but he could always care for Judith and Carl. Sherry deserved happiness as well despite the fact he had taken it from her for so long. 

She turned her head as she saw them entering and her mood darkened a bit. Carl sat beside her at the couch. 

"You have a wonderful sister Carl" she told him with a small smile as she handed her to him "you should be proud of her"

"I am" nodded Carl in agreement "she is a little ass kicker as Daryl says" he said with a small chuckle. 

Sherry laughed along. "I am sure that she will become an amazing girl when she grows up" told him Sherry feeling emotional. 

Her eyes met Negan's who swallowed hard and he softened towards her. 

He was an asshole forcing her to have a baby with him. He had completely ignored her feelings and what she wanted. He just hoped when she was free, that one day she could forgive the pain he had caused her. 

"Hey erm- have you seen Daryl?" he asked her awkwardly. 

"He said that he would go out for a walk" she told him. 

Carl looked at Negan worried. 

"How he left exactly? Since the gates are guarded?" Carl continued. 

"I bet he has his way.." drawled Negan "He knows that it isn't safe out there though" he continued exasperated. 

"He was gone a couple minutes ago" said Sherry "he didn't look that well"

"I will go find him. Carl just ehh- stay here and check on your dad" said Negan as he left in a hurry.

\---  
Negan searched the perimeter of the Sanctuary and he saw a cut off piece of the fence. He got out and saw Daryl walking towards the woods. 

He ran to him and Daryl let out a huff as he saw him. 

"Where do you think you are going?" Negan demanded. 

"Wherever I want, I won't give you a report" said Daryl as he turned his back to him. 

Negan went to grab him by the arm and Daryl pulled out a small knife. 

"It would be so easy to kill you right now" he threatened. Negan didn't have Lucille with him. 

"Why don't you do it then?" Negan asked "just stab me and leave me here to bleed out. You will all be free from me after that" he told him bitterly. 

Daryl gave him a calculating look. 

"You're not worth it" he told him as he put the knife away. "Now let me be"

"I will come with you" Negan said. 

"I don't want to" Daryl answered plainly. 

"Do I look like I care?" told him Negan as he raised his eyebrows "plus I wanted us to have a talk"

"Oh so now you want to talk? I remember you making me your slave about two weeks ago. You didn't care what I wanted to say at all"

Negan sighed to control himself. 

"Well I do care now. Let's have a walk so we can talk things out" he replied. 

"Fine" Daryl huffed in annoyance.


	20. Chapter 20

Daryl was walking trying to pay attention to the greenery view around him and not to his "companion".

"Are you gonna walk for another half hour?" Negan asked him irritated. 

"Noone is forcing you to be following me. Go back to your precious Sanctuary where you have control of everything" told him Daryl dismissively. 

"Ok enough! " ordered Negan in a cold tone. Daryl had managed to get him very angry. "We are stopping here so you can tell me what is wrong with you. Didn't we work together so great the other day? Then I find you crying with Rick when you know damn well he shouldn't get upset right now" Negan spat out. 

Daryl felt his eyes stinging. 

"I am sorry I am not made out of stone like you. When you killed Glenn and Abraham did you feel even an iota of regret? When you were putting me through hell? Maybe when you locked Rick up and allowed these bastards to take him to die slowly in a cold cabin? Tell me!" Daryl shouted in his face. 

Negan had enough of Daryl's accusations and attacked him. He dropped him to the ground and started hitting him. Daryl fought back as he gave him a kick to the stomach. He tried to get him off him but Negan attacked him again and they found themselves rolling down a small grassy hill. Daryl tried to recover from the fall and get on his feet before Negan could catch him again. He was feeling dizzy and his body hurt. 

He walked ten steps when suddenly he got caught in a nest and got raised in the air hanging from a tree. Who the hell was putting traps in the middle of the forest? He pulled out the knife and tried to cut the rope but it was too strong. 

Negan stumbled to his feet and his eyes widened as he saw Daryl hanging from the air. 

"Daryl!" he shouted. How had this happened? "Hey, hey don't worry. I'll find a way to get you down" Negan said as he tried to calm him down. 

Daryl looked at him in misery. How would he get out of there? 

Suddenly Negan heard talks from the short distance. 

"Negan hide!" Daryl told him urgently. Negan didn't want to leave him alone. 

"Just do what I'm asking for once" Daryl begged him as the voices came closer. 

Negan snapped out of it and hid behind a tree. 

Daryl was suddenly pointed with at least six guns. 

"Well look at that" he heard someone saying and Negan felt his blood getting cold. It was Simon's voice. 

"I am gonna kill you" growled Daryl when he saw his face. 

Simon chuckled. 

"Negan may tolerated your attitude but I won't do the same. Get him down and tie him up" Simon ordered his men. 

They pulled down the nest and Daryl got ready to fight his hardest but it was in vain. He couldn't fight all of them. They tied his hands behind his back and Simon got close to his face. 

"When Negan realises I got you, he will come begging me not to kill you" he told him with a smirk. 

"Dream on" Daryl spat out "Negan doesn't give a damn about me"

"We will see about that" Simon said, too sure of himself. 

"Move on" ordered Simon's men. Daryl looked behind his back and saw Negan starring at him in despair as he got forced to go with them.

Without a weapon there was nothing he could do to help him. Soon Daryl was out of his view and Negan hit the tree he had been hiding with force. 

He let himself slide against it as tears rolled down his cheeks. Once again he had screwed up big time and Daryl would face the consequences. 

He had sacrificed himself so Negan could go away. 

How he would face Rick again after what he did? If he hated him already, now he will never want to see him again. No, he had to fix this on his own. Rick didn't have to know. It would only make him worse. He would die if he needed to in order to save Daryl. Rick shouldn't have any involvement in this. 

Sooner rather than later Simon would get in touch with him and he would do whatever he wanted to save Daryl. He owed them this much. Going back to the Sanctuary was like going to the gallows but he did so feeling completely miserable as he replayed Daryl's words in his mind. 

All happened because he lost his temperature and why, because Daryl told him the truth? He had done unforgivable things over the fact that Rick and the rest of the Alexandrians had killed his men. They did it because they heard horrible things about the Saviors. He didn't have any excuses for the fact that he had enjoyed beating Glenn and Abraham to death with Lucille. 

This was something he had to fix on his own and noone else could help him.


	21. Chapter 21

Rick opened his eyes as he heard Negan's walkie talkie cracking to life. He had slept for many hours as it was early afternoon. 

"Negan do you copy?" said someone smuggly. Rick felt his blood getting cold as he heard the voice, it was Simon's. 

He grabbed the walkie talkie despite the weakness he was feeling and he pressed the talk button. 

"It's Rick Grimes" he told him in a cold tone "remember me?"

Simon chucked at the walkie talkie delighted by this turn of events. 

"Well look at you. Still staying with Negan huh?"

"Leave him out of your mouth" Rick spat out. "What do you want from us?"

"I have some juicy info about your "savior" Negan. You see I caught your friend Daryl and he was pretty roughed up already when I got him. With a bit pressure you wanna know what he revealed?"

Rick felt a pain in his chest as he heard that Daryl was caught by Simon and he held his breath. 

"I demanded to know what he was doing out there and with a little force ,he told me that it was Negan who kicked the crap out of him and not only that but he left him all alone to me. You see I was hoping that he would come save him but you understand that all that changes everything. Pretty cold hearted if you ask me..." Simon drawled. 

"You are lying" told him Rick as he couldn't believe that Negan did that. 

"Am I? Tell me Rick where is Negan right now? By your bedside? I doubt it"

Rick looked around the room and Negan was nowhere to be seen. 

"Let him go" he told him with anger. 

"I am not doing anything. When Negan comes back I'll call again to speak to him directly. Enjoy your family Rick, you don't have a lot of time to spend with them"

With that Simon turned off his walkie talkie. 

Rick tossed it to the wall with force. 

That moment Carl got into the room and saw his father throwing the walkie talkie. 

"Dad what are you doing?" he asked him surprised by his father's behavior. He should be resting, not throwing things around. 

Rick coughed hard and looked at him. 

"Where is Negan?" he demanded to know. 

"He went to find Daryl,something like that he said. It's been hours since he left though" Carl drawled. 

Rick couldn't believe that after everything they've been through,Negan had beaten up his best friend. He didn't care what his reasons were, this was unacceptable. 

Rick got up from the bed and despite his dizziness he got his clothes from when he had come here ,since Negan had given them back. Carl looked at him dumbfounded as he saw him getting dressed up. 

"Dad you should be resting!" Carl exclaimed "what are you doing?"

"We are leaving" announced Rick as he coughed again. He had tolerated a lot, but not that. "We are going to our own home. I'm done dealing with Negan"

"But dad...-" Carl tried to reason with him. 

"Carl just do what I'm asking" he told him. No matter how much he wished that Negan had changed, he couldn't believe what he did. He would have to save Daryl alone, but first he needed to get out of there. 

Rick was struggling as he was still feverish and he was coughing but he walked beside Carl to go get Judith. 

Some turned to look at him but he couldn't care less. All he wanted was to go back to his home. 

"Rick!" said Sherry as she saw him struggling to stand up "you shouldn't be walking around" 

She looked at Carl who gave her a glare like he didn't know what his dad was doing as well. 

"I am taking Judith and I am out of here" he told her. 

"How are you gonna do that? There are guards at the gate" she told him hesitantly. 

"What are they gonna do? Kill a sick man and a toddler?" Rick replied as he coughed harder. 

"Just let me tell Dwight to at least drive you to Alexandria. You can barely stand up Rick" she said as Rick wasn't looking well at all. 

"Fine" he said eventually as he took Judith in his arms. 

\---  
"Negan will kill me if I do such thing" told them Dwight as he sighed. He couldn't let them go without Negan agreeing. 

"Weren't things better between you?" Dwight questioned. 

"I want to leave Dwight" Rick said as he tried to cool his head a bit against the wall. "Don't question it"

The weight of what Negan had done, was killing him. 

Dwight eyed him unsure. 

"Ok, ok I understand how you are feeling. I will do it despite the possible consequences,they will let me pass"

Carl gave Sherry a hug as he didn't want to go. He couldn't understand where his dad's anger came from. 

"Tell Negan I am sorry" Carl told her "I really don't know what happened between them out of sudden"

Sherry sighed "Your dad knows best and if he wants to go home then that's what he should do. We will be ok don't worry, we know how to deal with Negan" 

Suddenly Dr Carson came their way. 

"Rick I've been looking for you" he told him worried "what are you doing standing up and walking around?" 

"We are going to Alexandria" Rick said to him as he was trying to stand up despite his dizziness. 

"What?" questioned Carson confused "didn't you agree that you would be staying here?"

"Negan decided that, like always. Now I want to go to my home, why is everyone having such a hard time to get that?" Rick snapped at him although he knew it was unfair towards Carson who had tried to help him all this time. 

"I..-" started Carson very unsure "it's ok. You should do what you want. Hope someday I can return to Alexandria as well"

Rick looked down bitterly. He knew what him and Negan fixing their relationship would mean for everyone but he was angry. He couldn't get away with everything. 

"You will Carson" Rick sighed "I promise you that"

Carson handed him over the box of pills. 

"Your health comes first. You have to continue to do so in Alexandria and whatever happens you radio me. Don't care what Negan will think, I need you to get well and soon"

Rick gave him a hug. 

"Thank you Carson, for everything" he whispered. He really wished that things were different. For them all but they weren't. 

"The car is ready" said Dwight as he cleared his throat. 

Rick felt his eyes stinging as he looked around one last time. If he was not feeling well when he came here, now he was feeling worse. He may would be leaving physically but one thing would be left here. 

His heart for the Sanctuary's leader and that ached him the most.


	22. Chapter 22

"They did what?!" demanded Negan in anger. 

Sherry sighed, it's not like she didn't expect this reaction. 

"Don't know what happened out of sudden. He seemed very ok with staying at first and now he was almost begging to go home. Carl didn't want to go though, he told me that he is sorry" said Sherry. 

"Dwight had no right to do that without asking me first" said Negan bitterly. What the hell happened to Rick? He was already feeling like crap with the Daryl situation, now he was worse. He had spent some hours before returning to the Sanctuary as he tried to think how he would explain Daryl's missing and then he finds Rick and his whole family gone. 

"Can you stop putting the fault on Dwight all the time? How would Rick go back to his home in his situation?" said Sherry as she was getting angry as well now. 

"Of course you'd only care about your boyfriend" scoffed Negan without even thinking about it. 

"What did you just say?!" said she raising her voice as her face transformed to hatred. Negan had never seen her this mad before. 

"I saw you ok? You and Dwight" said he exasperated "didn't punish you though, did I?"

"First of all he is my husband. Not my boyfriend. He will always be. You have punished us enough already" Sherry spat out as she walked to her wardrobe and pulled out a backpack and several pair of clothes. 

She started putting them in with force as Negan looked at her dumbfounded. 

"What are you doing?" he demanded to know. 

"What does it look like?" answered Sherry bitterly "I'm leaving" 

Dwight would kill him if he let Sherry go ,after he angered her this much. 

Sherry grabbed a pair of jeans to change into. With the dress she couldn't go anywhere. She went to go to the bathroom when Negan stopped her. 

"Let me go" she demanded. 

"I am sorry Sherry" Negan said very frustrated "please don't leave..."

"What is left for me here Negan?" she raised her hands up as she looked at him straight in the eyes "you are constantly being an asshole, you treat us like we don't have feelings..."

"You are right" said Negan as he sat down on the couch and felt his eyes stinging. He was such a mess. "It's just that one person I cared about left already, don't do the same to Dwight ok? It will break his heart. I know that it's very hard to believe but I did care about you, it wasn't an act. I was just so blinded by power that I couldn't see that other's have needs as well. Look I want to make you a deal ok? You are free to be with Dwight, just please don't get up and leave" he begged her. 

"Is that some play or something?" asked Sherry as she couldn't believe what Negan had agreed on. 

"No it's not, ok? I was gonna do it either way, it's just I got mad that Dwight helped Rick to get out of here. I am sorry for speaking to you that way..." he told her miserably. 

Sherry dropped the jeans on the bed and sat down beside him. 

"You really do care about him don't you?" she questioned. 

Negan swallowed hard. 

"Yes I do. Gosh I do so much" he said as he bit his lip. "Simon caught Daryl. He told me to hide and I could only sit and watch him get taken away. Before that we had a brawl, about everything I did to the Alexandrians and them specifically. I am the reason he got caught. If I had kept my calm, nothing would have happened"

Sherry gave him a hug to comfort him. 

"You will get him back Negan, you will find a way to fix things" she told him with a sigh "Rick will change his mind eventually, I'm sure of it"

Negan hugged her as well and he rubbed his face frustrated as he stood up. 

"Hope so or I'll lose my mind. He is still very sick" he told her as he left to go to his own bedroom. He needed to lay down. 

\---  
Negan entered his bedroom and felt a sadness overtaking him. It seemed empty without Rick. Empty and lonely, like he had been all this time after losing Lucille. He grabbed the bat in his hands and looked at it with disgust. With this bat he had spread so much pain. There was nothing thrilling about all that anymore. His eyes caught the walkie talkie and it was thrown to the floor by the wall. He stood up and grabbed it in his hands. It looked like someone had thrown it with force as some color had been removed. Why would Rick throw the walkie talkie? Suddenly it clicked in his mind. Maybe Simon had contacted him and he talked to Rick. If he had told him about Daryl it would be enough reason to get up and leave. 

He pressed the talk button in anger. 

"Simon. It's Negan" he said. 

Three minutes passed before he heard the other side of the walkie talkie cracking to life. 

"I was expecting a call from you Negan" he told him smuggly. 

"What the hell did you say to Rick?" he demanded. 

"The truth" answered Simon "that you beat up Daryl and you left him when you saw he got caught. Daryl got forced to tell me because I found it fishy that he was all alone"

Negan let out a humourless chuckle "You know nothing about me"

"I know that you need to be gone. It's time for someone else to be in charge. You grew soft over the Alexandrians"

"Over my dead body I'll let you take over" Negan spat out. 

"Tomorrow night be at the clearing where the line up happened or I'll start cutting pieces of Daryl and send him to you and Rick part by part. Ten tomorrow be there" he warned him as he turned off the walkie talkie. 

Negan threw the walkie talkie at his bed and looked at Lucille. 

It was time to get her bloody. 

\---  
"Ten tomorrow be there" it was heard by the walkie talkie that Dwight had in the car. Carl was taking Judith to their home and he had stayed to say goodbye to Dwight when they heard Simon and Negan talking. 

He looked at Rick in shock. 

"That's why you left?" he questioned in shock. 

"Yes" Rick said as he coughed once again.

Ten tomorrow he would be there, no matter what Negan was planning to do.


	23. Chapter 23

Ridk laid to his bed. He thought he would feel relief to be there at last but he didn't. He missed Negan's room and getting to sleep on his bed. He looked at his side and imagined Negan laying there,looking back at him, telling him that he was gonna be ok. Rick coughed miserably. His two adventures had been hard on him. He needed to gain some strength, to use it tomorrow against Simon and save Daryl. It would be hard with how his health was but he had to do it. He just wished he would be strong enough by tomorrow. He wondered what would happen after that. Would Negan try to take him back? Would he go even harder on them? Maybe he would never want to see him again after his third escape..? The thought of going back to searching things for the Saviors or else someone of his family would get hurt, it was killing him. But Simon should definitely get out of the way first. After that he would have to wait and see what would happen.

He heard a knock on the door and it was Carl with Judith in his arms. 

"Dad she's been asking for you" he told him. 

Rick sat up a bit and looked at Judith who had tears in her eyes and was stretching her arms to get to him. 

"It's ok" Rick said "leave her here" he continued as he patted the bed. 

"I will go to see Enid" said Carl. With all that they've been doing these past few days he didn't have time to see her at all. 

"Ok Carl, be safe" told him Rick as he coughed once again. 

Carl gave him a worried look and walked out of the room. 

"Hey sweetie" he said to Judith who had crawled near him "I've missed you so much" 

Judith hummed in agreement as she hugged him. 

"I have a long time to read you a story" said Rick as he took randomly one book from his bedside table. He should take advantage of these moments they had together. 

Judith laid comfortably by his side as he opened the book. 

"Once upon a time..." Rick started "there was a family of pigs. The mother pig was very poor, and so she sent her three little pigs out to seek their fortunes. The first that went off met a man with a bundle of straw, and said to him:

“Please, man, give me that straw to build me a house.”

Which the man did, and the little pig built a house with it. Presently came along a wolf, and knocked at the door, and said:

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

The irony of choosing this story in particular was not lost on Rick. That's what Negan had told them on his first visit to Alexandria. In many ways Negan was the big bad wolf that had come to cause destruction to their peacefulness. The villain of their story if you will and somehow he had managed to fall for him, like the houses in the story of the three pigs, Rick was now facing the consequences of falling for the "wolf".

He let out a frustrated sigh as he continued reading ,but his mind was on Daryl. He really hoped he could hold on till tomorrow. 

\---  
Negan laid in bed early. It wasn't so much that he was tired as much as he didn't wish to face anyone. Laura and the others had been very pressuring on what to do with Alexandria. He could may as well die tomorrow, the less he cared about was what would happen to the tributes although they were important for the Sanctuary's survival. He couldn't think of anything else when he knew that Daryl was out there because of him and Rick was at Alexandria despite his sickness. 

He had taken for granted the time he had Rick here. He kept running from him like that would solve anything. They could have talked more, getting to know each other better without threats and all that crap. He never got to know about that nightmare the first night Rick spent here. It had to be very upsetting. He could go to Alexandria and demand to see him but he knew he shouldn't interfere more. Maybe if he managed to free Daryl, he would soften a bit towards him. 

Negan looked at Lucille one last time and closed his eyes. Tomorrow would be a big day. 

\---  
"Sir we found what you asked" said one of Simon's men. 

"I'm pleased to hear it. How is Daryl?" he asked. 

"He tried to escape sir and he spit David" he told him hesitantly. 

"That sneaky shit.." muttered Simon annoyed. He wanted to be done with Daryl as fast as possible. "Show me what I requested" he said. 

"Here it is sir" he answered. 

Simon smiled as he looked at the red bomb in front of him with the timer. Very soon it would be counting down Negan's and Daryl's minutes of life.


	24. Chapter 24

Negan sealed the folder with Dwight's name on the front. Inside he had written every single detail on what to do in case of his death and one of the things was that Dwight would be the new leader. He didn't trust anyone else and he was sure that he would be more than capable to do the right things with most important fixing their issues with Alexandria. Rick would be more open to hear Dwight out than him and they could stop all that suffering he had caused. Maybe a future without him in it was all they needed to get their crap together. He wouldn't be there to see it but at least it would happen. Negan sighed as he got in the car. He glanced one more time to the Sanctuary and at that moment he realized how much he never felt like home there. It was a cold factory after all, it lacked all the things that would make it a cozy home. Rick and his family may didn't live in luxury - definitely since he came around - but there was one thing noone could take from them and that was how close and tight they were as a family. 

He parked the car near that dreadful clearing and he got out. He had five minutes until it was 10 like Simon had said. Suddenly he heard another car very close to him. Who could that be in this place? It's not like it was a well known area or with something of value. It was just a part of the forest. Some meters away from him appeared the car he had been hearing. Due to the darkness he couldn't make out the driver from here but he grabbed Lucille and walked towards it. This may was someone related to Simon. He could take them out perhaps. He saw the driver going to grab something from the back of the car and he pulled out one he had brought as well. 

"Hands up" he said as the driver had his back turned to him. 

Rick turned around and saw Negan pointing a gun at him. 

"What the-" said Negan as his eyes widened "How are you here and most importantly why?" he demanded. 

Rick was still feverish but he could stand up without stumbling around and that's all that mattered right now. It didn't if he wasn't on top condition. He definitely didn't think though that Negan would happen upon him. 

"I heard you when Dwight returned me to Alexandria" answered Rick as he crossed his arms in front of him "Talking to Simon. Now if you will excuse me I have to save Daryl" he told him coldly. 

Negan grabbed him by the arm although he tried to not be rough. It hurt to see him again and being stubborn once more. 

"Listen to me real close. You will get in the car and get out of here right now. You are sick Rick!" Negan ordered. 

Rick got his arm free from Negan's grasp and stepped back. 

"I'm fine and I don't take orders from you" he snapped at him "I'm here to save my best friend, what is he to you for the matter?" Rick said bitterly. "Now let me go. He may kill him..-"

"This has nothing to do with you" said Negan "it's me he wants out of the way"

Rick ignored him and went to leave. Negan couldn't put him in danger though,not again. Rick had to live no matter what would happen to him. As soon as he turned his back to get the gun, he used his own and knocked him out. He caught him before hitting the ground and put him in the car. The darkness would protect him from potential walkers. 

"I'm sorry Rick" he said as he closed the door behind him. 

This was something he had to do alone. 

He walked to the clearing and saw Simon standing there with his men behind him. 

"You are late" said Simon annoyed. 

"I had some business to take care of" told him Negan as he held out Lucille. The gun was hid behind his back. 

"Don't worry soon enough you won't have any business" answered Simon as he smirked at him "don't know if you will die here tonight for sure, if you don't I'll keep you in a cell just to watch me transform the Sanctuary to the empire that it should be. Alongside your buddy Rick of course"

"Don't put his name on your mouth" growled Negan "where the hell is Daryl?" 

"This is none of your business" said Simon as his men raised their weapons at him. He was severely outnumbered. 

Suddenly Simon's men started dropping dead. Negan turned his head and saw Carl and Dwight with guns in their hands. 

"This is yours I believe" Dwight threw him the letter he had left "don't you dare write these crap again"

Carl shot another one down and smirked at Negan. 

"It was a good thing I had practice" he told him. Negan smirked back at him. 

"I am not mad at all kid" he replied. Simon saw that his men were getting shot and made a run for the woods. 

"Go get him" shouted Dwight "we got the rest"

Negan nodded and pulled out the gun as he ran after Simon. He tried to shoot at him but he missed. He dropped the empty gun and followed after him. Simon got out of a cabin. This had to be where he was keeping Daryl. 

"You have nowhere to go" Negan yelled at him. 

Simon attacked him with force and he threw him to the ground as he started punching him. 

Negan recovered soon and tried to scramble to his feet. 

Simon got Lucille and went to hit him with her. 

"Don't you touch her" yelled Negan as he kicked him off him and grabbed Lucille. 

Simon tried to get up but Negan punched him hard in the face dropping him to the ground. 

Negan raised Lucille and looked down at him with hatred. 

"For all the things you did to us" he told him as he got ready to hit him with Lucille. 

Simon laughed uncontrollably as he looked up at him. 

"You will never win" he told him. 

Negan saw red at that and he hit him hard with the barbed wire bat and didn't stop until the ground was bloody. He would never hurt them again. 

His clothes had gotten red because of the blood splashing but he couldn't care less. He had killed him. He looked disgusted at Simon's remains and walked towards the cabin. 

He had to free Daryl and get the hell out of this forest. 

Negan opened the door and as soon he did he saw Daryl strapped to a chair and gagged. He was trying to yell at him but his words came out muffled. Tears were rolling down his face. 

He showed him with his eyes downwards and there was a bomb placed beneath the chair. 

Daryl sobbed hard as Negan saw the timer. It said ten minutes and they had started being counted down. 

The wires had been connected to the cabin's door. He had set it on when he opened it. That's what Simon had meant that he would never win. 

Negan looked at Daryl who was clearly exhausted and was crying hard as he looked at him in despair. 

They were very screwed.


	25. Chapter 25

Negan removed the gag from Daryl's mouth as he leaned down to watch the bomb and if there was any way to disarm it. 

Daryl's hair were sticking to his forehead and there were lines of tears drying at his cheeks. 

"What are we going to do?!" Daryl demanded as he was breathing fast. The timer was still counting and Negan didn't think there was a way to stop it. 

Negan looked at the bomb as he considered what he could to. Suddenly an idea came to him. He remembered from the time they were in the area that there was a river near by. He could take the bomb extremely carefully and throw it there. If it exploded right there they would most likely die from either the cabin or the trees falling on them. He pulled out a knife and cut down Daryl's restraints. The timer said he had nine minutes left. 

"Listen to me Daryl" he told him seriously "there is a river close by, I'll take the bomb and throw it there. Once the bomb is out of here, you are good to go. There is Dwight and Carl not far away. They will take you home"

"What?!" exclaimed Daryl as his eyes widened "it's night Negan and it could explode while you hold it"

"I know this area" told him Negan "I can make it. Now I don't have time to debate this" he said as he took the bomb in his hands and stood up carefully. 

"Negan let the bomb back down" pleaded Daryl as he had tears in his eyes once again. If it would explode in his hands he would die instantly. Negan was already walking towards the door though. 

"I heard you once Daryl, we will not make this a habit. By next week you are gonna want to kill me yourself again" he joked as he tried to calm him down. He knew that the chances of dying were big but he had to do this. 

"Please be careful you asshole" said Daryl as he saw him leaving. 

Negan focused on his breathing and his steps. If he tripped somewhere it would be the end. He had done many crazy things but nothing compared to this. The least that could happen was to lose his hand and the worst that he would die instantly. 

The time was passing by fast as he tried to find his way to the river. He had only four minutes left. Suddenly he heard the sound of the water. That meant he was close now. He continued walking when he saw a cliff in front of him. He approached it carefully and looked down at the river that was hardly noticeable due to the darkness. If there wasn't a moon he wouldn't be able to see it. The passage to get down there was blocked by some rocks that had fallen most likely due to the many rainfalls. 

Negan didn't have time to find another way. He had to throw it from there and hope for the best. The timer said that he had only one minute left. He took a deep breath and dropped it into the river. Thankfully it landed in and Negan leaned a bit forward to see if there was a light showing. Maybe the water had disarmed it. There was nothing showing. He turned his back to get out of there either if the bomb was disarmed or not when suddenly there was a big explosion in the river. He hurried to get out of there when suddenly a rock from the river was thrown in the air with force and hit the cliff. Negan felt the ground beneath him crack as the cliff was starting to collapse. 

"Shit" thought Negan in panic as he tried to find a solid part of ground but as the cliff was collapsing there was no way for that to happen. Large pieces of the cliff started falling in the water and Negan jumped in an attempt to not go down as well. He caught himself from a rock but it started getting detached as well. 

"No, no, please don't fall" yelled Negan as he tried his hardest to hold on. He had nothing that could help him except from Lucille on his back. 

The rock was not on his side though and with a loud thud it got detached from the cliff. Negan found himself falling downwards and into the icy cold river. He hit the water hard and his eyes widened as he saw the rock falling right above him. He swam quickly to the opposite direction and last minute he managed to avoid getting hit. The rock splashed hard and was cracked to smaller rocks that came flying in all of the directions. Negan tried to get underwater but his body was not following his commands. He was very numb. His eyes widened as one piece came towards his head and suddenly it all blacked out. His body went limp and the force of the river took him away making Lucille leave from Negan's back and float alone on the water away from her holder. 

\---  
Daryl had just found Dwight and Carl when he heard the bomb getting exploded and then one bigger sound of rocks falling. 

"What the hell happened?" said Dwight urgently "where is Negan?"

"Follow me" yelled Daryl as he ran towards the sound. Whatever was happening was not good at all. 

They managed to find their way with a bit difficulty as it was night and they looked down at the river that was full of rocks that had fallen. Negan was nowhere to be seen. 

"Where is Negan Daryl?!" Dwight demanded again as he took in the view beneath them. 

Daryl sank to his knees and looked down. 

Carl's eyes widened as he tried to understand what had happened. 

"Simon had put a bomb to kill me and when Negan found me it got activated. He told me that he would throw it in the river" Daryl explained feeling like dead inside "the cliff must collapsed and fell on top of him"

There was no way Negan had survived with a whole cliff falling on him. 

Daryl sobbed hard as he couldn't believe that Negan had sacrificed himself to save him. 

The only thing that could be heard in the dead of night were their cries as the river beneath them went silent after the destruction there had been caused. 

\---

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking of making a sequel to this, let me know if you would like to. Thank you for reading and for the comments! Let me know if you would like to read a continuation 🙏👍


	26. Chapter 26

𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝

"Dear Negan, 

Gosh this feels like being a kid again and writing a diary. You would probably find it stupid if you were here and make a snarky comment about writing letters to you like a school girl...

At first I thought it was Stockholm Syndrome. Some weird need to tell you what I've been doing. I never thought I would miss you interfering with my life. The opposite really, I believed I would be glad to be without you coming to Alexandria on a whim and checking on us, on me or being paranoid that we were making plans against you. Well I came to find out, that I'm not glad.

It's been a month since you fell to that river. Everybody has been saying you are dead. Daryl told everyone that you saved him, how you selflessly took that bomb and dropped it to that river. How that cliff collapsed and fell on top of you. The pain of the past can't be erased easily, but you are a hero now Negan. People talk about you with respect and it's not because they are afraid. You gained this with your actions. 

Things seem to move on. I don't understand why the world didn't stop moving. How everything goes on like nothing happened. I know that you would most likely find these opinions child-like but I just don't get how life has this force of moving forward despite tragedies happening. I've not been able to do the same. I've been drowning deeper and deeper like you did when you fell to that river. 

The only reason I'm still alive and I haven't ended it is because of Carl and Judith. Can't bring myself to do that to them. I'm just tired you know. Tired of faking happiness, that I'm strong. Daryl has been guilty about your death. I want to blame him, to tell him that he didn't do enough to stop you from doing this craziness. But I know you also. You wouldn't have listened to anything and anyone. You always did what you wanted. 

Because of you I can stand on my feet again. I've been getting worse that first week after finding out what you did. But Carson didn't give up on me. He had been trying even harder to help me get through the sickness and he achieved it. The fever is gone and the coughing as well. Despite being better physically, I feel dead emotionally. I had been thinking about our last talk before knocking me out and I can't help but think that your last image of me was that I was being an asshole to you when you were only trying to protect me. Wish I could go back in time and just prevent you from doing what you did. We would have found another solution, together. You felt that you were all alone, I know that's why you went to this suicide mission. 

Dwight has been trying hard to fill your space. The Sanctuary and Alexandria are now trading. There are no killings anymore, no threatening. Both our communities have been growing. It hurts so much that you're not here though. I expect to see you everytime Dwight comes around. To be the one to answer the walkie talkie when I'm at my worst. All I have left nowadays are these letters. I hope that someday you will get to read them. It wasn't possible yet to find your body. There are large amount of rocks that have fallen to the river. If they could at least find you, I would get some kind of closure. The thought of you being at the bottom of that river...-

Carl has to be sick of seeing me crying. I try to do it when he is not at home. He should get to live his life. I feel bad that I'm interfering with his happiness when I sob most of the day. Same for Judith but she is too young yet to understand. She can feel me being upset but it doesn't influence her as much. Judith is the main reason I've been trying. It was already bad for her when I was at the Sanctuary. There are people that would take care of her in case I was gone but feel very guilty to do that to her and Carl. I guess that's the price I'll have to pay. Live the rest of my life in misery thinking of the ways I should have acted differently to prevent you from dying. 

I guess what I really want to say is that I miss you. I miss you a lot. Your smirks, your fierceness, being an asshole, even that leather jacket you were constantly wearing. I miss laying on your bed and you beside me. Even when I ran away that day, you were just worried that I got sick. You didn't punish me for slapping you and stealing one of your cars. If I wasn't that focused on hating you, I would have seen all the things you did for me. 

Maybe we could have been happy you and me. You clearly cared about my kids. Proved it on many occasions after all. You could have cooked me that famous spaghetti that Carl talked to me about. We could be making pancakes on Sundays. We could have left all the pain we felt behind. Life could be very close to how it used to be pre apocalypse. When did we stop caring Negan? All that's left now is hatred and pain. Kill or get killed. There is another way forward. Me and you are proof of that. 

When you made us kneel that day and killed two of my friends I thought there was nothing else I could feel for you but hatred. Remember the "I am gonna kill you not today, not tomorrow"? Thinking about it now makes me sick. Guess fate took matters in its own hands in the worst way possible.

I am holding on to the hope that you survived somehow. You are Negan. You can make everything that for someone else is impossible, possible. I will hold on to that. Keep believing that somehow we will get reunited. If we do I promise to you I'll not lose time again. Not anymore.

Yours,  
Rick Grimes"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought to continue here after all instead of making a new work from the start but it's a sequel to the first story, thank you for the support and hope you will like the continuation 👍


	27. Chapter 27

Negan was at a field. Everything around him was very peaceful. The sun was raising in the distance. In the middle of the field was a big tree. He felt comfort as he felt the light breeze against his skin. Suddenly he noticed a man standing not so far away looking at the sunrise. Negan furrowed his eyebrows and walked towards him. He had never seen this man in his life. He had white hair and was wearing a white shirt as well. He was an elder person. 

"Hey Negan" he told him in a gentle tone as soon as Negan approached him. 

"Do you know me?" Negan questioned confused. 

"Not directly, no, but people that meant a lot to me do know you" he answered. 

"Like...?" Negan asked. 

"It doesn't matter right now" the elder man replied "it has come to my attention that you have loose threads"

"Loose threads?" Negan asked. 

"You have to close them. You will understand what I'm talking about when it happens"

"Hope so because I've got no idea what you are talking about..." drawled Negan hesitantly. 

"You are smart Negan. I'm sure you will figure it out" the elder man told him as he rested his hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes like he knew things that Negan didn't. 

Everything around them turned to white and Negan raised his hand to protect his eyes from the brightness. 

\---

Negan took a deep breath as he opened his eyes. He was laying at his bed in the Sanctuary. The clock at the wall was saying that it was almost afternoon. He had overslept apparently. He got dressed up mechanically and left his room to go see if there was something left for breakfast. 

He turned to a corner and there was Dwight who instantly turned guilty when he saw him. 

"I know that you are mad...-" he started "I should have asked you first"

"You know I've no idea of what you are talking about ,right?" Negan told him. 

Dwight looked at him confused. 

"Ermm driving Rick and his family back to Alexandria? I know that I should have asked you first but he just wanted to leave. Like desperately. Maybe Daryl getting caught influenced him much more than you thought. I just couldn't get myself to say no. Plus he heard you talking to Simon from the radio as I was dropping him off. Tell me you're not thinking of facing him alone?" Dwight demanded to know. 

"What?" asked Negan as he looked at him. He felt like his mind was disconnected from his body. 

"Are you still sleeping Negan?" questioned Dwight as he raised his eyebrows "Simon? Today? Saving Daryl? Ring any bells?"

Negan just looked at him dumbfounded. He couldn't concentrate on anything right now. He felt like there was a fog sitting above his head. 

"Yes I'll see Simon today at ten" he said eventually as Dwight was looking very concerned about his well being. 

"Right..." drawled Dwight "do you want my help then?"

Negan just wanted to go back to his room. Something about all this felt completely out off place but he couldn't understand what was going on exactly. 

"No Dwight. Thank you though. Erm just stay here and be safe" he said as he turned his back at a very confused Dwight. 

He got back to his room and closed the door behind him. He looked at his table and saw the letter he had written for Dwight. What he would do in case he died today. He took it in his hands and sat at the bed. He read it again and he sighed. This was what needed to happen in case he died. Negan grabbed a folder from a drawer and sealed the letter inside. 

He laid to his bed and looked at the ceiling. He needed to focus if he wanted to beat Simon today. There was nothing more important right now. Maybe if he slept for some more hours he would feel better. He let out a sigh, he curled to himself and allowed his eyes to close as he felt exhaustion overtaking him. 

\---  
Some hours later Negan was approaching the area where he had lined up Rick's group and he parked the car to a stop. He looked around and everything was very silent. 

He sighed once again as he got out of the car feeling his heart heavy. Who knows what would happen to him here tonight. 

He had five minutes until it was ten like Simon had said. Suddenly he heard another car very close to him. Who could that be in this place? It's not like it was a well known area or with something of value. It was just a part of the forest. Some meters away from him appeared the car he had been hearing. Due to the darkness he couldn't make out the driver from here but he grabbed Lucille and walked towards it. This may was someone related to Simon. He could take them out perhaps. He saw the driver going to grab something from the back of the car and he pulled out one he had brought as well.

"Hands up" he said as the driver had his back turned to him.

Rick turned around and saw Negan pointing a gun at him. Negan had a weird feeling that he had lived this before. 

"What the-" said Negan as his eyes widened "How are you here and most importantly why?" he demanded as he felt a pang of pain in his heart. Something was telling him that this would be the last time he was seeing Rick. 

Rick was still feverish but he could stand up without stumbling around and that's all that mattered right now. It didn't if he wasn't on top condition. He definitely didn't think though that Negan would happen upon him.

"I heard you when Dwight returned me to Alexandria" answered Rick as he crossed his arms in front of him "Talking to Simon. Now if you will excuse me I have to save Daryl" he told him coldly.

Negan grabbed him by the arm although he tried to not be rough. It hurt to see him again and being stubborn once more.

"Listen to me real close. You will get in the car and get out of here right now. You are sick Rick!" Negan ordered.

Rick got his arm free from Negan's grasp and stepped back.

"I'm fine and I don't take orders from you" he snapped at him "I'm here to save my best friend, what is he to you for the matter?" Rick said bitterly. "Now let me go. He may kill him..-"

"This has nothing to do with you" said Negan "it's me he wants out of the way"

Rick ignored him and went to leave. Negan couldn't put him in danger though,not again. Rick had to live no matter what would happen to him. As soon as he turned his back to get the gun, he used his own and knocked him out. He caught him before hitting the ground and put him in the car. The darkness would protect him from potential walkers.

"I'm sorry Rick" he said as he closed the door behind him.

This was something he had to do alone.

He walked to the clearing and saw Simon standing there with his men behind him.

"You are late" said Simon annoyed.

"I had some business to take care of" told him Negan as he held out Lucille. The gun was hid behind his back.

"Don't worry soon enough you won't have any business" answered Simon as he smirked at him "don't know if you will die here tonight for sure, if you don't I'll keep you in a cell just to watch me transform the Sanctuary to the empire that it should be. Alongside your buddy Rick of course"

"Don't put his name on your mouth" growled Negan "where the hell is Daryl?"

"This is none of your business" said Simon as his men raised their weapons at him. He was severely outnumbered.

Suddenly Simon's men started dropping dead. Negan turned his head and saw Carl and Dwight with guns in their hands.

"This is yours I believe" Dwight threw him the letter he had left "don't you dare write these crap again"

Carl shot another one down and smirked at Negan.

"It was a good thing I had practice" he told him. Negan smirked back at him.

"I am not mad at all kid" he replied. Simon saw that his men were getting shot and made a run for the woods.

"Go get him" shouted Dwight "we got the rest"

Negan nodded and pulled out the gun as he ran after Simon. He tried to shoot at him but he missed. He dropped the empty gun and followed after him. Simon got out of a cabin. This had to be where he was keeping Daryl.

"You have nowhere to go" Negan yelled at him.

Simon attacked him with force and he threw him to the ground as he started punching him.

Negan recovered soon and tried to scramble to his feet.

Simon got Lucille and went to hit him with her.

"Don't you touch her" yelled Negan as he kicked him off him and grabbed Lucille.

Simon tried to get up but Negan punched him hard in the face dropping him to the ground.

Negan raised Lucille and looked down at him with hatred.

"For all the things you did to us" he told him as he got ready to hit him with Lucille.

Simon laughed uncontrollably as he looked up at him.

"You will never win" he told him.

Negan saw red at that and he hit him hard with the barbed wire bat and didn't stop until the ground was bloody. He would never hurt them again.

His clothes had gotten red because of the blood splashing but he couldn't care less. He had killed him. He looked disgusted at Simon's remains and walked towards the cabin.

He had to free Daryl and get the hell out of this forest.

Negan opened the door and as soon he did he saw Daryl strapped to a chair and gagged. He was trying to yell at him but his words came out muffled. Tears were rolling down his face.

He showed him with his eyes downwards and there was a bomb placed beneath the chair.

Daryl sobbed hard as Negan saw the timer. It said ten minutes and they had started being counted down.

The wires had been connected to the cabin's door. He had set it on when he opened it. That's what Simon had meant that he would never win.

Negan looked at Daryl who was clearly exhausted and was crying hard as he looked at him in despair.

He removed the gag from Daryl's mouth as he leaned down to watch the bomb and if there was any way to disarm it.

Daryl's hair were sticking to his forehead and there were lines of tears drying at his cheeks.

"What are we going to do?!" Daryl demanded as he was breathing fast. The timer was still counting and Negan didn't think there was a way to stop it.

Negan looked at the bomb as he considered what he could to. Suddenly an idea came to him. He remembered from the time they were in the area that there was a river near by. He could take the bomb extremely carefully and throw it there. If it exploded right there they would most likely die from either the cabin or the trees falling on them. He pulled out a knife and cut down Daryl's restraints. The timer said he had nine minutes left.

"Listen to me Daryl" he told him seriously "there is a river close by, I'll take the bomb and throw it there. Once the bomb is out of here, you are good to go. There is Dwight and Carl not far away. They will take you home"

"What?!" exclaimed Daryl as his eyes widened "it's night Negan and it could explode while you hold it"

"I know this area" told him Negan "I can make it. Now I don't have time to debate this" he said as he took the bomb in his hands and stood up carefully.

"Negan let the bomb back down" pleaded Daryl as he had tears in his eyes once again. If it would explode in his hands he would die instantly. Negan was already walking towards the door though.

"I heard you once Daryl, we will not make this a habit. By next week you are gonna want to kill me yourself again" he joked as he tried to calm him down. He knew that the chances of dying were big but he had to do this.

"Please be careful you asshole" said Daryl as he saw him leaving.

Negan focused on his breathing and his steps. If he tripped somewhere it would be the end. He had done many crazy things but nothing compared to this. The least that could happen was to lose his hand and the worst that he would die instantly.

The time was passing by fast as he tried to find his way to the river. He had only four minutes left. Suddenly he heard the sound of the water. That meant he was close now. He continued walking when he saw a cliff in front of him. He approached it carefully and looked down at the river that was hardly noticeable due to the darkness. If there wasn't a moon he wouldn't be able to see it. The passage to get down there was blocked by some rocks that had fallen most likely due to the many rainfalls.

Negan didn't have time to find another way. He had to throw it from there and hope for the best. The timer said that he had only one minute left. He took a deep breath and dropped it into the river. Thankfully it landed in and Negan leaned a bit forward to see if there was a light showing. Maybe the water had disarmed it. There was nothing showing. He turned his back to get out of there either if the bomb was disarmed or not when suddenly there was a big explosion in the river. He hurried to get out of there when suddenly a rock from the river was thrown in the air with force and hit the cliff. Negan felt the ground beneath him crack as the cliff was starting to collapse.

"Shit" thought Negan in panic as he tried to find a solid part of ground but as the cliff was collapsing there was no way for that to happen. Large pieces of the cliff started falling in the water and Negan jumped in an attempt to not go down as well. He caught himself from a rock but it started getting detached as well.

"No, no, please don't fall" yelled Negan as he tried his hardest to hold on. He had nothing that could help him except from Lucille on his back.

The rock was not on his side though and with a loud thud it got detached from the cliff. Negan found himself falling downwards and into the icy cold river. He hit the water hard and his eyes widened as he saw the rock falling right above him. He swam quickly to the opposite direction and last minute he managed to avoid getting hit. The rock splashed hard and was cracked to smaller rocks that came flying in all of the directions. Negan tried to get underwater but his body was not following his commands. He was very numb. His eyes widened as one piece came towards his head and suddenly it all blacked out.

\---

Negan opened his eyes as he felt his head hurting a lot. He was breathing fast and had tears in his eyes. He was laying at his bed in the Sanctuary. The clock at the wall was saying it was ten in the morning. Negan sat up and went to his bathroom to wet his face a bit. He was feeling like a mess. He got dressed up mechanically and decided to go for breakfast. 

He opened his room's door and saw Dwight coming his way. 

"Mornin'" said Dwight hesitantly "I wanted to talk to you yesterday but you slept early. Look I know that you are mad...-" he told him "I should have asked you first"

"You know I've no idea of what you are talking about ,right?" Negan told him as he raised his eyebrows. 

Dwight looked at him confused. 

"Ermm driving Rick and his family back to Alexandria?" he said. 

Negan rested his head at his room's door as he felt cold sweat overtaking him. What the hell was happening to him? 

He had already lived this day twice.


	28. Chapter 28

"So are you still mad at me?" asked Dwight hesitantly. 

Negan was very shaken. He had died twice already falling from that cliff. There was no telling if he had died of course but falling from a cliff and having a rock hit his head...well the chances of being alive were not many. 

"Negan are you ok?" Dwight demanded "you are very pale"

Negan supported himself from the door and nodded. 

"Yes I'm fine" he swallowed hard as he thought of what he could do "I'm going to Alexandria" 

"What?" Dwight asked in surprise "are you sure that's a good idea just when Rick decided to leave?"

"I want us to have a talk" Negan said plainly "That's all"

"Ok then..." drawled Dwight unsure as he watched Negan walking away while supporting himself from the wall. 

Something seemed off about him.

\---  
Negan drove to Alexandria feeling his heart racing. He couldn't understand what was happening to him but he had to stop it. Maybe if he talked to Rick, he would understand him. 

He parked outside the gates and he saw Rosita at the gates looking at him with hatred in her eyes as he got out of the car. 

"What do you want?" she demanded. "Rick's off limits for you"

Negan didn't have nor the time or the mood for that right now. 

"I just want to talk to him for a bit and I'll be out of your hair. I'm leaving Lucille in the car, see?" he said as he left the bat inside. 

He was feeling very tired. Maybe something about that had to do with Rosita deciding to open the gates after all. She may thought that he wouldn't be a threat if he was exhausted. 

"Thanks" he said simply. 

Rosita just let out a huff and let him in. 

Negan walked to Rick's house hoping that he would let him talk to him. He felt like he was losing his mind. 

He knocked at the door and waited. Rick opened and he was taken back when he saw Negan. 

"What are you doing here?" he demanded "if you think I'm coming back...-"

"No it's not that ,ok?" Negan begged him "I have to talk to you. Just please?"

Rick looked at him in the eyes and Negan could see his hesitation and anger. 

"Fine, come in" he said. 

\---  
Rick coughed hard as he placed two cups of tea at the table and sat down. 

"You are sick Rick" Negan told him. 

"Hmm are you gonna be telling me the obvious now?" Rick asked him aggressively. 

Negan shook his head negatively as he looked at his mug. 

"What do you want from me Negan?" Rick asked him. 

"That day, Daryl decided to leave" began Negan "he wanted to go for a walk and sneaked out of the Sanctuary. I found him and wanted us to have a talk. He started blaming me that I was the cause of all evil there is in this world. I lost my temper and I hit him. It was a mistake, I should have not done that. I should have understood that he was in pain. He fought back and we found ourselves rolling down a hill. Daryl wanted to get away from me but he was caught from a trap and got raised in the air. There was nothing I could do to help him. Simon and his men were heard from a short distance and Daryl pleaded me to hide to not be seen as well. You have every right to be mad. It's my fault he got caught" He swallowed dryly as he looked at Rick. 

"That's who Daryl is" said Rick eventually "even in that moment his only care was to save you. That doesn't mean though that I forgive you just because Daryl did. It was by no means acceptable what you did"

"I know, I'm not asking you to" Negan sighed "Today night you are gonna go to that clearing despite being sick. We are gonna meet and I'm gonna knock you out to prevent you from getting killed. I fight with Simon and I kill him. Daryl is strapped to a cabin with a bomb beneath his seat. In order to save him I'll take that bomb and throw it in a nearby river from a cliff. When the bomb explodes that cliff begins shattering and not managing to go away fast enough I fall with it in the river..."

Rick looked at him as he widened his eyes at what he had just told him. 

"Can you foresee the future now?" Rick asked making clear that he didn't believe him. 

"I have lived it, twice. Don't know how but that's what happens tonight" Negan said knowing very well that the chances of Rick believing him were few. 

"I'm sorry Negan but that is crazy. There is no such thing as living the same day twice. Maybe you saw it in a dream and you were desperate to play the hero so you created this story"

"It's not a dream" Negan said exasperated "that's how the events go. You think I wanted to fall from a cliff? You have to stay here tonight. I'll save Daryl and bring him back. I'm begging you to not interfere"

"I will not sit here when my best friend's life is in danger!" Rick spat out "maybe you think that with these ploys you will get me on your side. I thought you changed but you are just trying to manipulate me"

"Why?" Negan demanded "what's in it for me? Even if I do survive there is nothing left for me. You will continue hating me"

"Yes I am" Rick said bitterly "I just want to be free from you at last ,got it? There is no version in this were we live happily ever after. There is no such thing for you and me"

Negan felt his eyes stinging and he got up from his chair. 

"It was good to see you Rick" he told him as he walked out of the door and closed it behind him with a bang. 

Carl was returning to his home from Enid's and saw Negan walking away. He ran to him. 

"Hey..." he told him hesitantly. 

"Hey kid" Negan said as he gave him a sad smile. 

"Did you talk with my dad?" Carl asked. 

"I did but it didn't go well. I will not force him to do anything though, don't worry"

"Don't get what got inside him and wanted to leave yesterday. He seemed fine to me and then his behavior changed..." drawled Carl sad. 

"It's ok kid, let him do what he wants. It's been a long time, I understand that he is tired"

"So you don't want to take him back?" Carl asked. 

"I want him to come because he wants to. Since he doesn't, I'll live with this no matter how much it hurts..." he answered. "You take care of him though ok? What he needs mostly is you and your sister. Not me"

Carl nodded as he was feeling emotional. 

"Hey remember when you killed my men with that gun?" Negan told him with a small smirk. 

"Yeah" answered Carl a bit embarrassed at being reminded of this. 

"You had practice" Negan said as he gave him a small pat on the shoulder and walked away.


	29. Chapter 29

Negan drove back to the Sanctuary feeling very upset after his discussion with Rick. Maybe he should have stayed away from him. He get that this behaviour was due to Rick's frustration and anger but he would really like to have him on his side in this situation. He got out of the car and saw Carson waiting for him. 

"Heard you went to see Rick" he told him as soon as he saw him. 

"Yeah..." drawled Negan. 

"How is he doing?" Carson questioned. 

"Same" said Negan "he is still sick"

"If he doesn't become better soon, I want to go to Alexandria to treat him there" Carson told him. "It's difficult to do so from here"

"Ok" agreed Negan without even thinking about it that much like that the Alexandrians could keep the only doctor there was left. He was done with all that. 

Carson raised his eyebrows at his reaction and how easily he agreed. 

"Usually you have many arguments..." he said hesitantly. 

Negan let out a deep sigh. 

"What do you want me to say Carson? No? If you think that's the best for Rick, then so be it. I won't get in the way of his recovery and plus they don't have a doctor anymore"

"Are you ok yourself?" 

"Yes I'm just tired" answered Negan "I want to go rest" he said as he left to go to his bedroom. 

He opened the door to his room and saw the letter he had written for Dwight at his table. He reread it and pulled out a folder as he sealed it in. No matter what would happen this time, the things he had written in this letter didn't change. 

He pulled out Rick's gun and looked at it, it should be given back to its owner. So many things had happened since the day Rick came to the Sanctuary. It almost felt like a lifetime ago. 

How could he do things differently? The bomb got activated when he opened that cabin's door. He should kill Simon first and then try to save Daryl without setting the bomb on. That way he would avoid the cliff and dealing with the bomb to begin with. 

This whole situation that was happening to him was making him very sleepy. He laid to his bed and closed his eyes as his tiredness drove him to sleep. 

\---

Some hours later Negan was approaching the area where he had lined up Rick's group and he parked the car to a stop. He looked around and everything was very silent.

He sighed once again as he got out of the car feeling his heart heavy. 

He had five minutes until it was ten like Simon had said. Suddenly he heard another car very close to him. Rick's car. He decided to ignore having a confrontation this time. Instead he turned his back and went to meet with Simon. 

He walked to the clearing and saw Simon standing there with his men behind him.

"Wow look at that" mocked Simon "You are on time"

"Thought to be on time for once" told him Negan as he held out Lucille. 

"Well,I don't know if you will die here tonight for sure, if you don't I'll keep you in a cell just to watch me transform the Sanctuary to the empire that it should be. Alongside your buddy Rick of course" Simon told him as he smirked. 

"Dream on" Negan replied as he knew very well that Simon would be the first to go before himself. 

Simon's men raised their weapons at him, but Negan knew what was going to happen. 

Suddenly Simon's men started dropping dead. Negan turned his head and saw Carl and Dwight with guns in their hands.

"This is yours I believe" Dwight threw him the letter he had left "don't you dare write these crap again"

Negan shook his head at him. If only he knew that he would become leader of the Sanctuary very soon. 

Carl shot another one down and smirked at Negan.

"You were right about the practice" he told him. Negan smirked back at him.

"I sure was" he replied. Simon saw that his men were getting shot and made a run for the woods.

"Go get him" shouted Dwight "we got the rest"

Negan nodded and pulled out the gun as he ran after Simon. He tried to shoot at him but he missed. He dropped the empty gun and followed after him. Simon got out of a cabin. This had to be where he was keeping Daryl.

"You have nowhere to go" Negan yelled at him.

Simon attacked him with force and he threw him to the ground as he started punching him.

Negan recovered soon and tried to scramble to his feet.

Simon got Lucille and went to hit him with her.

"Don't you touch her" yelled Negan as he kicked him off him and grabbed Lucille.

Simon tried to get up but Negan punched him hard in the face dropping him to the ground.

Negan raised Lucille and looked down at him with hatred.

"For all the things you did to us" he told him as he got ready to hit him with Lucille.

Simon laughed uncontrollably as he looked up at him.

"You will never win" he told him.

Negan saw red at that and he hit him hard with the barbed wire bat and didn't stop until the ground was bloody. He would never hurt them again.

His clothes had gotten red because of the blood splashing but he couldn't care less. He had killed him, for the third time. 

He looked at the cabin and the door was already open. His eyes widened. How could it be open? 

He ran towards it and saw Rick having leaned down and was looking terrified at the bomb that was saying that there was only one minute left. Daryl was sobbing as well. 

Negan pulled out a knife and cut the restraints off Daryl. 

"We have to go now! " he told them urgently. 

Rick and Daryl nodded and they hurried to get out of there. Suddenly the bomb exploded and the cabin got destroyed in seconds. The force threw them to the ground as woods came flying all around them. Negan had cuts all over his body as he crawled to Rick who had a tree on top of him and was struggling to breathe. It was too heavy to lift. 

"Hey hey" said Negan as he got by his side. 

"I'm sorry" whispered Rick as the pressure of the tree was getting too much. Negan sobbed above him. 

"You are gonna be ok Rick" he told him as he tried to lift it but it was too heavy "we are gonna get this tree off you"

Rick found his hand and held it tightly as he knew that his end was close. 

"Please forgive me" he told him as tears rolled down his face. 

"There is nothing to forgive Rick" sobbed Negan as he watched him close his eyes with a fade smile on his lips. 

His body went limp and his hand let go of Negan's. 

Negan watched him in shock as he couldn't believe that Rick had died. 

Everything around him turned to white as he opened his eyes. He was once again to his bed at the Sanctuary. 

He curled to himself and sobbed hard as he couldn't believe that he saw Rick dying.

When was this nightmare gonna end?


	30. Chapter 30

Negan looked outside of his room's window feeling lost. No matter how much he tried things just wouldn't change. He had lived the same day three times. He remembered his talk with that old man, he was the one that put him through this. Told him that he would understand. What should he understand exactly? That no matter what he did they were doomed? That there was no way to fix things with Rick? Maybe that was the point of all this. To accept fate and stop running from it. 

He got out of his room and saw Dwight coming his way. 

"Before you say something I'm not mad at you" he told him before Dwight could even open his mouth. 

"I-" said Dwight "how did you know what I was gonna say?"

"It doesn't matter Dwight. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for everything" Negan told him seriously. 

"What are you sorry for?" asked Dwight as he couldn't understand what he meant plus Negan never apologized. 

Negan let out a deep sigh. 

"The burn, separating you from Sherry and so many others, let's not count them all now..."

"I... Don't know what to say" said Dwight as his eyes teared up at that. 

"Don't say anything Dwight" answered Negan as he put his hand on his shoulder "I just want you to know that the Sanctuary is yours from now and on. Lead them well without making the same mistakes as I did. The only way forward is with the other communities"

"What?" said Dwight as his eyes widened "Negan are sure you are ok?"

"Better than I've been in a while" told him Negan "the Sanctuary needs someone and that guy is you" he gave him a comforting pat as Dwight stood there trying to realise what had just happened. 

\---  
Negan drove to Alexandria. He needed to say goodbye, to have closure with Rick without the bitterness getting in the way. 

Rosita was at the gates once again and she frowned as she saw him. 

Negan got out of the car without Lucille to not alarm her. 

"I know that you are angry and you have every right to be" he told her "wish I could take back what I did to Glenn, Abraham and Olivia. Not Spencer because he wanted to kill Rick, I'm not sorry for that. Don't know how much it will take but things will get better for everyone here" he continued as it was probably the truest things he had said to an Alexandrian. 

Rosita was taken aback by Negan's words but she opened the gates hesitantly. 

"Don't hurt him" she told him as she let him in. 

Negan swallowed hard but he nodded. 

He walked to Rick's home not knowing how he would deal this time. 

He knocked and Rick opened the door with a mug of tea in his hand. He looked worn down. 

"What are you doing here?" he demanded with a rough voice as soon as he saw him. 

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. For keeping you as a prisoner, for Simon, for Daryl, just for everything" said Negan as he felt his eyes on the verge of tearing up. 

"Come in..." Rick muttered as he definitely didn't expect to hear all that coming from Negan. He never told him again that he is sorry for something. 

"Thank you" Negan said as he entered. 

"Do you want a tea?" asked Rick. 

"No, I'm ok" answered Negan as he looked at him "I won't stay for long. Just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry"

"Why now?" questioned Rick frustrated. 

Negan walked closer to him as he sighed. 

"I can't change the past Rick. Nor what I did. What I can change is the future. I want you and the kids to have a future and you will have it because you deserve it. The future needs to have Rick Grimes in it. That's how it is"

"You are talking about us but not for you" said Rick confused. 

Negan let out a small chuckle. 

"Don't worry about me Rick. Focus on getting better, will you do that for me?"

Rick swallowed and he let the mug down. 

"Yeah I promise you asshole" Rick told him as he opened his arms and hugged him tightly. He thought that he would disappear if he let him go. 

Negan rested his head on Rick's shoulder and he knew that's where his place was. He let a tear drop from his eyes as he hugged him as well. 

"That's all I wanted to hear" he told him. This may was the last time he would be seeing him but somehow he felt complete and ready for whatever was gonna happen next. Rick would live and he would make this screwed up world a better place. 

That was for sure.


	31. Chapter 31

1 month ago

Negan opened his eyes with struggle. He was burning up and his body hurt everywhere. His one arm felt completely numb. He coughed out water as he tried to catch his breath. He looked up at the bright blue sky and it felt like it was mocking him. He could may as well be dying right now considering how bad he felt. The last thing he remembered was getting hit by that rock and then he bet the river took him away. His clothes were completely soaked and he was trembling. He looked around as much as he could considering he was laying down and this area was unknown to him. How the hell would he go back in his situation? He had almost drowned in that river. He didn't think he even had the strength to sit up. 

Staying like that though wasn't an option so he had to try. He tried to put his weight on his arms and yelled out in pain. His left arm had to be broken. He tried the other one but he was in too much pain. He laid back down and felt his eyes stinging. Damn you Simon. Even dead he was the reason that he was suffering right now. How would he get to go back to Rick? Giving up wasn't in his blood. He had to try harder. He tried again and despite being in terrible pain he managed to get up as he gasped hard. He supported himself against the rocks by the river and tried to move his hand. Yep definitely broken. He was in a very rough shape and he had no idea where he was. It could be literally anywhere. Who knows how far away did this river go. 

His mind travelled to Rick and how he would react to his supposed death. Because that's what they would think when they saw that the whole cliff had fallen. It was a miracle that he was even breathing still after all that he went through. Lucille was nowhere to be seen either. He must have lost it when he fell to the river. Suddenly he heard someone coming his way talking to a walkie talkie. 

"Don't know when I'll be back Morgan. I'm not in the mood of an argument again" he heard someone saying exasperated. 

The man sighed as he turned off the walkie and walked towards the river to drink some water. 

Negan had no idea who this person was and he had no way to protect himself either. He considered staying quite but his arm hurts way too much. This guy had leaned down and took some water in his hands when he heard someone gasping in pain. He turned his head and his eyes widened when he saw none other than Negan. 

"You!" he said as he rised to his feet. 

Negan had no idea who that was, but apparently he knew him. 

"Who are you?" Negan questioned as he tried to protect his arm. 

The guy's face turned to hatred as he looked at him and the situation that he was in. This was their chance to make him pay. 

"Of course you wouldn't know me. My name is Paul Rovia and I'm from Hilltop" he told him agressively. 

Shit, thought Negan. He had pissed off all the communities apparently. 

"Look let me explain to you what happened before you do anything" he said as he tried to reason with him. 

"There is nothing to explain. You are coming with me. Maggie will be so pleased to see you" Paul told him. He had waited ages to get Negan alone and now it was the perfect opportunity that he was without his men, a weapon and in such rough shape. 

"Perfect" thought Negan bitterly. He survived a bomb, a cliff and the river only to be killed by angry Hilltopers. He had to escape this. Jesus moved threateningly towards him and Negan tried to make a run for it. But he was in no shape to do so and he felt a strong dizziness overtaking him and he lost his consciousness. 

Jesus looked at him. That would be the chance to pay for everything he did to Glenn and to them all really. He walked towards his tied up horse and lifted Negan off the ground putting him on the horse's back. 


	32. Chapter 32

Negan woke up with a gasp and he saw that he was behind bars. Shit, he thought. His hand was aching a lot but at least they had wrapped it up. He expected them to break it completely just to torture him. Maggie would kill him or keep him in a cell as a revenge for what he did to Glenn. It's not that he didn't understand her rage but Daryl and Rick would have died without him. He wouldn't even have a chance to explain himself even if what he did so far counted for something. He guessed it would be better to let Rick think he died in that cliff. The picture he made now was just pitiful. Rick didn't deserve someone so weak. He may was sad for some time but he would get over it eventually in sake of his kids. That was probably for the best. Negan sighed as he took in his cell. It was very small. He just wished Maggie would get him out of his misery sooner or later. 

As if on cue the door of the prison opened and he saw Jesus with Maggie by his side. They both looked very angry. "Look who came for a visit..." drawled Negan as he sat up with great difficulty "you got me, congratulations"

"I couldn't believe it when Paul told me but it is true" said Maggie as she crossed her arms in front of her. 

"Kill me then" Negan spat out "get your revenge"

Maggie let out a chuckle that was cut short. 

"You think that you will get away that easily? First you are gonna stay here to suffer and eventually you are gonna die by my hands" she said as she and Jesus turned their backs to leave. 

"You are gonna regret this terribly" Negan told them as he watched them helplessly leaving. Jesus looked at him one more time as he opened the door and locked it behind him. 

Negan sobbed hard as he thought of Rick. He would never get to know what Maggie did, he wouldn't get to say goodbye to him... He would die alone and forgotten by everyone. 

He laid back down to his poor excuse of a bed and looked at the dark ceiling. Again, screw you Simon, he thought as he felt exhaustion overtaking him. 

\---

1 month later

"Carl I'm telling you, I heard them!" said Enid as she walked left and right very upset. "Maggie is keeping Negan locked up"

Carl couldn't believe what he was hearing. Enid had appeared to Alexandria being very nervous and upset. She had told him that not only Negan was still alive but also that she had heard Maggie and Jesus talking about how she would kill him soon. 

"My dad has been a mess Enid! Negan did so much for us, we have to prevent her from killing him!" said Carl as he bit his lip. 

"How Carl? For them Negan is enemy number one, they don't know what he did for you, your father and Daryl"

"We have to tell my dad and Daryl" told her Carl urgently "they are the only ones who can save him now"

"Fine" drawled Enid hesitantly "if you think that is for the best then let's go"

They ran to his house where Daryl and Rick were drinking a tea. Rick was catatonic as he had been for a month now, it was like he was forcing himself to keep living. Daryl hadn't been happy either. 

Enid and Carl intruded to the house as fast as possible and Rick with Daryl snapped to look at them. 

The kids were looking very upset. 

"What happened?" demanded Daryl as he took in their scared expressions. 

Carl and Enid sat down on two chairs and looked at them. 

"Negan is alive" he announced and he watched Rick's and Daryl's faces transform to disbelief. 

"Carl" intervened Daryl "it would be best to not mention this name in here, you know how hard it's been for all of us" he said as he looked at Rick who was on the verge of crying again. 

"It's the truth" said Enid "Jesus found Negan and they locked him up with Maggie. Heard them myself talking about it. She wants to take revenge for Glenn's death. Negan didn't die in that river"

Rick's face transformed to rage when he heard what Enid said that he had no doubt that it was the truth. She couldn't have made up such story. 

"One damn month she lets us think that Negan is dead" he said as he banged his hand hard against the table. 

"We will save him Rick" said Daryl "we owe it to him and we are gonna take him back"

"She kept him locked up for a month" told them Enid "you think she will just hand him over?"

Rick grabbed his python from a drawer. Dwight had given it back. 

"She will whether she wants to or not"

He wouldn't let Maggie's behavior to pass, nothing was justified in what she was doing. 

For the first time in a month he felt like he could be his usual self again because up to now he had been just a shadow of himself.

He owed it to Negan to try to save him.


	33. UPDATE

Just to let you know that next chapters may be delayed a bit because a jellyfish stung me in the arm and it is difficult to be writing, it didn't seem that severe but I have started to have several symptoms, which is why the chapter I posted today was a bit limited. Thank you a lot for reading and hope to be ok in some days or at least well enough to write the story without being distracted by the annoying symptoms...


	34. Chapter 34

"Get up" ordered Maggie as she opened the cell's door. 

It's been a month since Negan had been locked up. He had barely enough to scrap by so many weeks and he was weak. Negan sighed and got out of his poor excuse of a bed. 

Maggie had a gun pointed at him. 

"So you will finally put me out of my misery?" Negan questioned. 

"Yes but not here. Now move or I'll shoot you" she said as she removed the safe from the gun. 

Negan had no other choice but to do as he was told. His mind travelled to Rick that was probably unaware of what was going on. Maggie would most likely leave him to get eaten by Walkers. 

He felt his eyes stinging as he and Maggie left Hilltop to go who knows where to get killed. 

\---  
"How could you do that to us Jesus?!" Daryl demanded. 

Paul looked at Rick, Daryl, Enid, Carl and Dwight that were very angry. 

"What are you talking about?" he said. 

"We are talking about Negan and that you imprisoned him. Without even knowing what he did for us. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him" Rick told him exasperated. 

"Are we talking about the same person?" Jesus demanded. He couldn't understand their behavior or their sudden care towards Negan. 

"While you were living in your bubble here in Hilltop" intervened Dwight "Simon decided to take over the Sanctuary and kill Negan, Rick and Daryl. He kidnapped Daryl and put a bomb to blow up both him and Negan. The only reason that we are all here talking is because of him. Because he risked himself. He is not the monster you think he is. Now if you don't tell us where he is, the Saviors and Alexandria will attack Hilltop" he threatened. 

Jesus was taken back but what he heard. Could he had been so wrong about Negan? He would definitely not risk their safety though. 

"Ok I believe you. I didn't know" he told them "Maggie took him to execute him"

Rick's eyes watered at that. 

"Where the hell did they go?!" demanded Daryl. 

\---  
"Remember this place?" said Maggie coldly. It was again the clearing where he had killed Glenn. Everyone seemed to have a preference to this place. "This is where you are going to die as well. Now get on your knees" she said. 

Negan did so and looked at her. 

"Killing me won't bring him back" he told her. 

"No it won't but I'll get rid of the guy who bashed my husband's head" she replied as she got ready to shoot. 

"I'm not the same guy ok?" Negan tried to reason with her "if I could take it all back, I would-"

"Shut up!" she spat out. 

"Maggie drop your weapon now!" ordered a cold voice behind her and she saw Rick, Daryl and Dwight exiting their car and pointing their guns at her. 

"Let him go" Rick said as he pointed his python at her. He was furious at Maggie for what she did. 

"You want me to let him continue ruining our lives" Maggie demanded to know. 

"No I want you to be better" he told her "The pain won't go away if you kill him"

The gun shook in Maggie's hands. 

"Im sorry Rick but I can't do that" she said as she fired. 

Rick did the same simultaneously and Maggie fell dead revealing a very shaken Negan. He had dodged the bullet and it hit a tree. Rick couldnt believe that he had killed her but be would never let her harm Negan. Not ever again. 

Negan got to his feet and ran to him taking the gun from his hands. 

"Hey hey" he told him "you are safe"

He hugged Rick tightly as he sobbed hard in his arms.


	35. Chapter 35

Rick was tossing and turning at Negan's bed. He had been a mess all day and he finally fell asleep. Negan sighed as he rubbed his palm on his back in an attempt to calm him down which seemed to do the work as he stopped moving. Daryl opened the door and peaked inside. Negan motioned him to be quite as he stood up and closed the door softly behind him as he got out of the room. 

"How is he?" Daryl questioned worried. 

"Anxious" answered Negan as he rubbed his forehead "but at least he fell asleep"

Daryl looked away bitterly. Rick had gone through the most this past month. 

"I never got the chance to thank you" Daryl told him as he sighed "if it weren't for you I would have died in that cabin"

"Don't thank me" answered Negan "I've done enough as well. That was the least I could do. One month in that cell changed my perspective a lot. I've been terrible to you all, but I see you've been doing just fine without me"

"If it wasn't for Dwight..." said Daryl thoughtfully. He had already forgiven him for what he had done to him on his time in the Sanctuary. The guy had exceeded expectations and had really stepped up. "What will happen from now and on?" he questioned. 

Negan sighed as he thought about it. 

"Rick will decide what happens next" he told him "whatever he wants I'll respect it. I'm done forcing things on him"

Daryl put his hand on Negan's shoulder. 

"I'm sure he will decide correctly" he answered "goodnight Negan" 

Negan looked at him feeling emotional. It would kill him if Rick didn't want to be with him. But he would respect his choice. 

"night Daryl" he answered as Daryl got to a guest room to rest as well. 

Negan sighed and decided to check on the kids before going to bed as well. He had missed them one month in that cell. 

He walked to his former's wives room and saw Carl still up and watching Judith sleeping. 

"Hey" he told him softly to not wake her up. 

"Hey.." answered Carl "how is my dad?"

"Sleeping" Negan said "he had a rough day"

"A rough month he had" said Carl "he had been depressed all this time you were presumed dead" 

"Wish things could have been different" Negan mumbled "I mean all this started with me forcing him to stay here..."

"Yeah..." Carl said as he sighed "we are all different since then"

"He is glad to have you two" Negan told him as he got to his knees and looked him in the eye. "Don't you ever forget that"

Carl hugged him as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

"We missed you Negan" he said. 

Negan felt a pang of pain inside him. 

"I missed you too kid" he told him as he hugged him as well. 

Carl could be a badass and a kid. And there was nothing wrong with that. They had a rough time and they needed each other more than ever. 

\---

Negan left Carl and Judith to sleep and went to his room. He wore his pyjamas and looked at the couch. He walked past it and layed to his bed. He rested his hand on top of Rick's as he moved himself closer to him. 

He had missed him so damn much. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring but he hoped that Rick Grimes was on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left to the story, hope you will enjoy it! It's been a weird period for me because I still have the situation that I got stung by the jellyfish which had been going better and some other health issues ,but I really wanted to complete this story and make it come full circle with Rick and Negan getting together. I posted another story with two chapters called "No time to die" with Rick/Negan for anyone who would like to check it out


	36. Chapter 36

Negan returned Rick and the kids to Alexandria when the morning came. 

"Get Judith inside Carl" told him Rick when they reached their home "I'll be there soon"

"Ok dad" Carl nodded and gave Negan a glare as well. 

Negan felt very unsure of himself as he stood there in front of Rick. 

"So..." drawled Negan "what are you going to do from now and on?"

"What I've been doing I guess" answered Rick "except from dealing with an asshole called Negan, do you happen to know him?"

"I-" started Negan. 

"He was an asshole who used to make my life difficult" interrupted Rick " but somewhere along the way that guy disappeared and a hero took his place. He is standing right in front of me"

Negan sobbed as he hugged him tightly. 

"I am sorry Rick" he told him as he cried in his arms. 

"I know Negan. I'm sorry too" Rick said as he hugged him back "this past month had been a nightmare thinking you drowned in that river, don't you ever do that to me again"

Negan let him go and stared at him. 

"I will understand it if you want me to stay away" he told him feeling very anxious about Rick's answer. 

"If by "away" you mean sleeping next to me then sure" told him Rick as he crossed his arms in front of him "further than that I think we will have a problem"

"I don't want to be away from you Rick. Not anymore" Negan said as he bit his lip. 

Rick rested his hand on his shoulder. 

"Then don't be. I'm done with people trying to tear us apart. Don't know what the future may hold but I want to spend whatever time I've left with you" said Rick as he moved closer to Negan and kissed him in the lips. 

Negan kissed him back and felt that this is exactly where he was supposed to be. 

"If I learned something from all that happened is that you can't outrun fate but you can confront it" told him Negan as he hugged him once again. 

"Whatever comes next we are gonna face it, together" whispered Rick in his ear. 

That was enough for now. 

\---  
Negan got up from Rick's bed to go make breakfast. They had returned early to Alexandria and they definitely deserved to have one good breakfast after everything they've been through. 

He began making pancakes. The kids would love them, he wished Rick too. 

"These smell great" told him Rick as he appeared behind him when he was almost done. 

Negan grinned at him. 

"Told you I was great at cooking" Negan laughed as he hugged Rick. 

"You did" nodded Rick in agreement as the kids appeared behind them. 

"So you are staying?" Carl asked hopefully as they sat around the table to eat feeling way more comfortable that when he had first had dinner with Rick. 

"As long as you want me, I will" answered Negan "either way the Sanctuary is Dwight's, that won't change"

"Good that we are gonna want you forever then" said Rick as he smiled at him. 

Negan looked at them and for the first time in years he had a family. He smiled back at him as he felt hopeful after a very long time. 

\---  
Some days later

There was a knock at Rick's house. Negan hurried to open to see who it was. 

Things had been going better than he could have ever imagined and he could safely say that he was happy. 

What he wanted to happen when he took Rick as his prisoner had happened. They were together but because they both wanted it. Without force or fear or threats. 

He opened the door and saw Daryl who had softened a lot towards him as well. He didn't know if he could ever forgive what he did to him but things had definitely been going better with them as well. 

"Hey" told him Negan "if you want Rick he is taking a shower"

"No, it's you I wanted to see" he said "I have something for you"

He revealed something from behind his back and it was Lucille. 

"I believe this belongs to you" he told him as he smirked. 

Negan thought he had lost it forever. 

"I-" he drawled as he took the bat in his hands "how did you find it?"

"It was not far away from where the cliff fell. It wasn't swept away by the river so I was able to recover it"

"Thank you Daryl" Negan said as he smiled at him. It was good to have his weapon back. 

"Tell Rick that I expect to see you all to the fair tomorrow" 

"We will be there" told him Negan. They had decided to organize a fair to celebrate how well things had been going between the communities. 

Negan was actually looking forward to it. 

He bid Daryl goodbye and closed the door of Rick's house. 

Things were gonna be ok. He was sure of it, but even if something went wrong they were gonna deal with it. Together instead of alone, this time.

~ The End ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it for "Behind enemy lines", I hope that you enjoyed it as a whole! I never thought that it would turn to so many chapters when I started it about a month ago. But I wanted them to have their happy ending after everything they've been through in that fic😅 thank you a lot for the comments, they had been very supporting and thank you for reading also👍


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